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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Homeless for the holidays Katrina display draws ire - Nov 30, 2005

"METAIRIE, Louisiana (AP) -- It's no ordinary holiday season in the Gulf Coast this year, so Frank Evans built an unconventional holiday display at a suburban New Orleans shopping mall to match." (more) CNN.com - Homeless for the holidays Katrina display draws ire - Nov 30, 2005

Alive in Joburg - Alien encounter short film (QT mov)

Very cool looking, the intergration of the CG/live action footage is top notch.

Neill Blomkamp, the director of the Citroën Transformer ad, comes an unsettling and eerie tale of a close encounter of the third kind in Johannesburg, South Africa. Watch Alive in Joburg (rather large quicktime file) for some great special effects. The discrimination of visitors from another world makes for an interesting allusion to Apartheid, and something like this is what War of the Worlds should have been like.

UPDATE 2: The film is now at archive.org, where bandwidth won’t be a problem! Enjoy!!

Drawn! The Illustration Blog » Blog Archive » Alive in Joburg

Firefox 1.5 released today - Rediscover the web

Will it wash my car? Clean my Foreman Grill?

"The award-winning Web browser is better than ever. Browse the Web with confidence - Firefox protects you from viruses, spyware and pop-ups. Enjoy improvements to performance, ease of use and privacy. It's easy to import your favorites and settings and get started. Download Firefox now and get the most out of the Web." Firefox - Rediscover the web

Monday, November 28, 2005

Cunningham pleads guilty to conspiracy, tax evasion. Fonzie jumps shark in protest.

"Sit on it, tax payers!!!"

"WASHINGTON (AP) — Rep. Randy 'Duke' Cunningham pleaded guilty Monday to conspiracy and tax charges, admitting taking $2.4 million in bribes in a case that grew from an investigation into the sale of his home to a wide-ranging conspiracy involving payments in cash, vacations and antiques." (more) USATODAY.com - Cunningham pleads guilty to conspiracy, tax evasion

Kung Fu Panda - Animated CG film from Dreamworks (pic)

"Latinoreview.com has posted a different image from DreamWorks' Kung Fu Panda." Kung Fu Panda
(click pic for full size image)

A CG-animated comedy about a lazy, irreverent slacker panda, Po (Voiced by Jack Black), who must somehow become a Kung Fu Master in order to save the Valley of Peace from a villainous snow leopard, Tai Lung. Set in the legendary world of ancient China, this is the story of Po, our unlikely hero, who enters the rigid world of Kung Fu and turning it upside down. Po ultimately becomes a Kung Fu hero by learning that if he believes in himself, he can do anything (IMDB)

Chunk of marble falls from top of Supreme Court, Dick Cheney bares fangs, runs for cover

Surely a sign of the Rapture that is approaching?

"The marble was right above the inscription near the top of the building saying, 'Equal Justice under Law.'" (more) US News Article | Reuters.com

Sunday, November 27, 2005

'Jarhead': Whose Stories Are They? - New York Times

The screenwriter for 'Jarhead' admits that he had read Turnipseed's memoirs of the 1st Gulf War, wonder what the lawyers will make of this?

"Joel Turnipseed, a former marine who wrote 'Baghdad Express,' a memoir of the first gulf war, was sitting in Minneapolis watching 'Monday Night Football' with his wife last week when a commercial for the film 'Jarhead' came on the television.

'Jarhead' was directed by Sam Mendes and is based on Anthony Swofford's memoir of the first gulf war. The commercial showed marines in the desert hurrying to don their chemical protection gear. One of the characters, Troy, played by Peter Sarsgaard, put on his hood and turned to another, Swoff, played by Jake Gyllenhaal, and in his best Darth Vader voice invited him to 'come to the dark side.'

Mr. Turnipseed said he was shocked. 'I turned to my wife and said, 'Honey, there is something funny about that,' ' he said in a phone interview. 'That scene is in my book, not Tony's,' he added, referring to Mr. Swofford."
(more) 'Jarhead': Whose Stories Are They? - New York Times

'Crazy for Lego' man steals thousands of sets

"Portland, Oregon - A 40-year-old man is behind bars, accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars of Lego sets.

William Swanberg was indicted on Wednesday by a Washington County grand jury on two counts of felony theft and one count of attempted felony theft.

Swanberg - who is being held on $250 000 (about R1,6-million) bail - allegedly stole Lego sets from Target stores in Oregon by switching the bar codes on the boxes, covering over the pricing labels of expensive sets with labels from inexpensive ones, said Detective Troy Dolyniuk, a member of the Washington County fraud and identity theft enforcement team."
(more) IOL: 'Crazy for Lego' man steals thousands of sets

Tattoos - INKEDblog Interviews Aspiring Tattoo Artist Rob Marston

If you click the pic at left, notice that the skin is shaved (which is standard procedure). If they let the hair grow back, say hello to hairy demon and hairy flower!

"Where do young artists go to find tattoo apprenticeships? How does the industry get out of its own way and insure that aspiring ink slingers -- the ones with great respect for tattooing; the one’s who are truly willing to put in the hours, months, years of learning required – find generous and knowledgeable tat mentors? They’re good questions. And Rob here would kinda like some answers. He’s got the drive and the skills. All he’s looking for now is someone to take him under his/her wing and push him to be the best tat artist he can possibly be. Sounds like a pretty reasonable request to me." (interview at link) INKEDBlog: INKEDblog Interviews Aspiring Tattoo Artist Rob Marston

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Happy Drunk Flees Police, Lawnmower Style. Briggs & Stratton Has No Comment.

"Bad idea: fleeing from police in a stolen car. Terrible idea: fleeing in a stolen lawnmower.

But that's what police say a 'happy drunk' did, a decision that landed the suspect in prison for violating his parole."

She can see what you're saying (pic)

dmouth copy.jpg
Originally uploaded by photoflow.

Creepy and well pic of someone putting the ol' aqueous humor where the mouth is. Nice job of photoshopping the surreal.

Or (ulp...) is it?...

Friday, November 25, 2005

Friday web zen: dining out zen

Pat Morita, 'Karate Kid's' Mr. Miyagi, dies - Nov 25, 2005

Wow, 73 doesn't sound that old. RIP.

"LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Actor Pat Morita (full work resume here: IMDB), whose portrayal of the wise and dry-witted Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid' earned him an Oscar nomination, has died. He was 73.

Morita died Thursday at his home in Las Vegas of natural causes, said his wife of 12 years, Evelyn. She said in a statement that her husband, who first rose to fame with a role on 'Happy Days,' had 'dedicated his entire life to acting and comedy.'

In 1984, he appeared in the role that would define his career and spawn countless affectionate imitations. As Kesuke Miyagi, the mentor to Ralph Macchio's 'Daniel-san,' he taught karate while trying to catch flies with chopsticks and offering such advice as 'wax on, wax off' to guide Daniel through chores to improve his skills."
(more) CNN.com - Pat Morita, 'Karate Kid's' Mr. Miyagi, dies - Nov 25, 2005

Thursday, November 24, 2005

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: If Beasts Were Breasts in the Bookstore.

Heh. More at link.

"Mrs. Deming and the Mythical Breasts

Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them

The Ferocious Breast With the Polka-Dot Hide

The Breasts That Hide From Man

The Bad Child's Book of Breasts"

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: If Beasts Were Breasts in the Bookstore.

Barney VS 2pac - Google Video

Nice cutting of Barney footage with a 2 Pac song. Put your headphones on if your workbuddies aren't down with the naughty language blah blah blah, yo.

Barney VS 2pac - Google Video

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Giant cowgirl with her snack-sized cowgirl friends. Clydesdale horses tremble in fear.

Hotness scale starts at the far right, decreases to the left (just pretend you are reading Chinese or something). Only Clydesdales need apply. I spotted this while cruising around LiveJournal. Damn, that is one big lady. I'm pretty sure it's not photoshopped, looks like she is blessed/cursed with gigantism. The girl on the far right looks like she is suffering from hotchickism. Hopefully the giant lady doesn't eat her.
(click image for larger pic)

Gigantism or giantism, (from Greek gigas, gigantos "giant") is a condition characterized by excessive height growth. Gigantism is not a currently used medical term and there is no precise definition of the degree of tallness that qualifies a person to be termed a "giant." The term has been typically applied to those whose height is not just in the upper 1% of the population but several standard deviations above mean for persons of the same sex, age, and ethnic ancestry. Typical adult heights of Americans and Europeans to whom the term might be applied are 215 - 260 cm (7.5 - 8.5 feet), although the term is rarely applied to basketball players and those whose heights appear to be the healthy result of normal genetics and nutrition.

_skotobaza_: БОЛЬШАЯ мама

Pastor accused of rape plunges to his death. Yessir. Definitely an accident.

Some dude from the congregation was there and 'witnessed the tragic accident.' Sounds good to me, and apparently the FBI and The Laughing Quaker (HA! HA!) are cool with it too, nothing to see here, citizens...

"PORTERVILLE, Calif. -- A clergyman awaiting trial on charges of raping two teenage sisters plunged 400 feet to his death in Sequoia National Park, and federal authorities were investigating Tuesday whether he fell, jumped or was pushed." (more) Pastor accused of rape plunges to his death

(via FARK)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Octopus Owns Shark - Google Video of the Day

From Google Video of the Day:

"Heh... this is pretty cool. The scientists at this aquarium had no idea why all their sharks kept turning up dead, so they started recording. Octopai are wicked creepy and smart. This shark gets totally owned."

(link to Google Video of the Day: Octopus Owns Shark">embed video)

Monday, November 21, 2005

White Stripes: The Denial Twist - MilkandCookies (QT vid link)

"'If you think that the kiss is all in the lips, you got it all wrong man.'

The White Stripes combine one, long shot along with selective distortion to create a sort of fun-house mirror, Alice in Wonderland feel in this music video for their song, 'The Denial Twist'.

And it has Conan O'Brian."

MilkandCookies - White Stripes: The Denial Twist

Blue's Clues + grindcore band Dying Fetus video (Kill Your Mother Rape Your Dog)

Now that is classy, using popular children shows imagery in the vid. Nothing says 'lawsuit' like messing with big networks kid's programming.

To be quite honest, I cannot understand wtf the guy is saying, he sounds like he's chanting "Grobble gudda brakka fucga..." through a tuba soaked in Vaseline, but it's mildly amusing, I suppose. See the link below for more fun stuff, like album info, guitar tabs, yada yada. There's also links to other worthy bits of stuff.

WFMU's Beware of the Blog: (F:) Drive Video Vault

Tridentine Latin Rites Church - Seattle Eastside cult faces sex abuse claim

"Seattle - Members of a reclusive religious sect claim to be dedicating their lives to God.

The Eastside group is known by many different names, but most commonly as the 'Tridentine Latin Rites Church.' It is not associated with the Catholic Church or the archdiocese of Seattle.


Video shot by KING 5 News outside a Seattle hospital captures what appears to be a crime, an elderly woman surrounded and then snatched at the main door of a Seattle hospital.


Her captors are none other than her own children, who call this an intervention, a last ditch effort to save their mother from the grip of a mysterious religious sect.

“Her mind is in prison. She's been told if she talks to her children and her husband she will be damned and lose her soul ,” said her daughter, Rosemarie Offenhauer, “and we saw that very vividly as we talked to her.”

Mrs. Raleigh is a long-time member of the Tridentine Church. After decades of running from the law and controversy in other cities, about 100 Tridentines have lived for several years in obscurity in the suburbs east of Seattle."
(more) Eastside cult faces sex abuse claim

Bizarre celebrity names - Moon Unit Zappa tops bizarre names poll. 14/11/2005. ABC News Online

You can read the article if you want. Myself, I like to cut to the chase. Here's the list. Happy Festivus!

"The top 10 is:
1. Moon Unit - Frank Zappa
2. Apple - Chris Martin (Coldplay)/Gwyneth Paltrow
3. Misty Kyd - Sharleen Spiteri (Texas)
4. Geronimo - Alex James (Blur)
5. Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily - Michael Hutchence/Paula Yates
6. Dandelion - Keith Richards (Rolling Stones)
7. Dweezil - Frank Zappa
8. Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q - Bono (U2)
9. Zowie Bowie - David Bowie
10. Rufus Tiger - Roger Taylor (Queen)"

Moon Unit Zappa tops bizarre names poll. 14/11/2005. ABC News Online

'Out-of-body' Experiences May Come From Within, Spooky Pregnancy Follows 9 Months Later

"Psychologists at The University of Manchester are investigating the idea that out-of-body experiences, commonly thought of as paranormal phenomena, may in fact have their roots in how people perceive and experience their own bodies." (more) 'Out-of-body' Experiences May Come From Within

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Raw Dog :: Encyclopedia of Sex :: The web's best source of sexual terms and definitions

"Raw Dog (noun)
A slang term for having sex without a condom.

Since she was a virgin, I gave it to her raw dog."

Raw Dog :: Encyclopedia of Sex :: The web's best source of sexual terms and definitions

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Saddam took a beating for insulting holy men of Islam

You got served! Don't dance back!

"Asked whether the shrines of the Imams Hussein and Abbas in the city had been attacked by Iraqi forces, Saddam at first pretended not to know the two holy figures of Shia Islam.

But he then said: 'Who do you mean? Those manayich [buggers]?' According to the Iraqi lawyer, two of the court's clerks who had been taking notes then lunged at the former dictator and started to punch him.

Saddam fought back until the judge succeeded in restoring order, but not before the ex-dictator's head was bruised. US guards posted outside the makeshift courthouse in Baghdad found the incident amusing and did not intervene, the lawyer claimed."
(more) Telegraph | News | Saddam took a beating for insulting holy men of Islam

Pan's Labyrinth - first images from a creepy looking movie


"Hey folks, Harry here... Ya know... Somedays you wake up in the middle of the night with a purpose. The only glow in my room was the pulsing sleep light of my computer and strange glowing beard of the scary Santa Claus on my desk yonder. After making my way through the darkness to take care of the yearning I had to release precious bodily fluids into the city sewer system, the pulsing sleep light of my computer beckoned me into action. 'Check Mail' it asked me. Sleep beckoned me, 'Close your eyes.' Being the zombie I am, I listened to the computer and got a bit of a dream in return. The first images from Guillermo Del Toro's PAN'S LABYRINTH!!! I see that Doug Jones again looks amazing in a Del Toro film. And little Ivana Baquero looks adorable as Guillermo's Alice of the story, named Ofelia. This bittersweet horrific fairy tale has only just wrapped, with Guillermo beginning his long post upon the film. These pics came from WILD BUNCH's sale catalogue from AFM. Thanks goes out to 'Chrisgr' for the scoop. I think for many of you, this just popped up on your radar..." (more images at link) Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Star Wars and something - George Lucas at a Tokyo auto show

LOL. I love translated webpages, the sentence structures are baffling.

From foreign country such as during Tokyo motor show period " there is a something related to Star Wars between the ELIICA っ て? " With several degrees there was a thing which is heard.

The ELIICA and the Star Wars, there is no relationship, just the arm ち ょ っ there is a relationship.

Adjusting to the release of Star Wars episode, 3 everyone of the George Lucas other performer who visits Japan tries sitting down, really looking at the ELIICA, touching, in the driver's seat.
At that time it had being able to point also explanation it is various.

As for Lucas, " maximum speed is 230 miles per hour. " With in the explanation which is said, " the Is this for sale? Is this prototype? How many cars you made? " And so on with question attacking interest Tsu 々 circumstances.
As for ヘイデン * Christensen of アナキン (ダースベイダー) part, " I wanna drive! " With saying, it was just a little excitation feeling.

The photograph is one Professor Hiroshi Yoshida who is the highest patsy of ELIICA project and the place where Lucas has shaken hands.

Translated version of http://www.eliica.com/blog/

Bruno Bozzetto - Especial "Europe and Italy" (Flash animation)

Michael Caracciolo - The Kid From Brooklyn

Wow. This guy is pretty crazy. If you like hearing people curse (ex. GoF...Yourself wmv), this is the site for you.

I would like to take the time to introduce myself to you. My name is Michael Caracciolo. I am the president of a ticket company in New Jersey. However, although I have been in the ticket business for many years, I am certain that I am in the wrong profession. I should be an actor instead. I believe that I possess all the qualities necessary for success as an actor. I am a very conversational person, my voice easily projects, via my six foot six inch 400 pound amplifier! I also sing. My unique background, persona and life’s experience truly qualify me as one of a kind .The material recorded here is ad-libbed, improvisational and spontaneous. It contains profanity which is offered only in support of demonstrating my dramatic intensity and the context of the material. I am certain that after watching it once you will immediately want to contact me. Thank you very much for your time. Email BigMike@thekidfrombrooklyn.com

Thank You,
Michael Caracciolo

The Kid From Brooklyn

Digg Just Might Bury Slashdot - Wired News

I really don't think Digg will bury Slashdot, there is plenty of room for competition, and Slashdot has a huge loyal tech base and great snarky comments on news items.

A hot new social-bookmarking site is deluging web servers all over the net with a tsunami of traffic -- and is starting to make Slashdot-size waves.

Digg, a San Francisco news site compiled by its own readers, lists links to interesting new technology articles. A mention on the front page can cripple a server for days, in a pattern that mirrors the famed Slashdot effect. (more) Wired News: Digg Just Might Bury Slashdot

Monday, November 14, 2005

Brannon Braga announces he's finished with Star Trek, your mom

Longtime Star Trek producer Brannon Braga told SCI FI Wire that he's done with the franchise, at least for now and for the foreseeable future. "At the moment, yeah," Braga said in an interview. "There will be a lot of fans cheering about that," he added wryly, referring to the often caustic fan criticism directed at him during his 15 years as a writer and producer on Trek series and movies.

Since the end of Star Trek: Enterprise earlier this year after four seasons on the air, there have been no plans announced for either a new Trek film or TV series for the first time in 18 years. But Braga said that, even if there were, he would likely turn down any chance to be part of it. "At this point, most likely not," Braga said. "Just having come off so many years on the show and having done something different, I just don't think I would be ready now. Nor do I think they would necessarily ask me. But if they came to me today, I would have to be very flattered, but politely decline."

Sci Fi Wire -- The News Service of the Sci Fi Channel

(via FARK. My headline is better.)

Hollywood movies unrealistic when it comes to sex and pot

Since when has Hollywood ever given a moose's anus about being realistic? I think movies like 'Trainspotting' and 'Requiem for a Dream' (Fav quote: "Ass to ass!") don't paint too rosy of a picture of drugs and sex.

"A team of Australian medical researchers published a new study today that said Hollywood movies fail to show the negative consequences of sex and drug use.

The team lead by Dr. Hasantha Gunasekera of the School of Public Health at the University of Sydney studied 87 of Hollywood's biggest box-office hits since 1983 and found plenty of sex, but only one reference to condoms. The films contained no depictions of unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease. The report also said that drug-use tended to be portrayed 'without negative consequences' among the top-grossing films of the past two decades."
(more) CBC Arts: Hollywood movies unrealistic when it comes to sex and pot

MP3 Monday: Woodsongs Old Time Radio Hour - General Store

If acoustic is to your liking, check this site out, tons of (gasp) FREE music!

"Welcome to the world's biggest online acoustic performance archive. The WoodSongs programs are posted a few days after the recording of the radio show and include the post-show encore performances."

Woodsongs Old Time Radio Hour - General Store

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Vicious attack baffles police - NSW/ACT - Breaking News 24/7 - NEWS.com.au

"AFTER spending an unremarkable day studying at TAFE, Lauren Huxley caught the bus home.

Two hours later the pretty teenager was discovered by firefighters beaten, bound, doused in petrol and unconscious inside her parents' burning home.

The 18-year-old has not regained consciousness since Wednesday's vicious attack.

What happened after Lauren stepping off the bus near her Northmead home in Sydney's north-west at 2.07pm and before firefighters arrived at her home has mystified police."
(more) Vicious attack baffles police - NSW/ACT - Breaking News 24/7 - NEWS.com.au

(via Attu Sees All)

Have you ever been cooked from the inside out? See Juanita for details.

Haha ahahaha haa! Juanita gives the ultimate Shocker!

Post from MySpace:

sorry since you opened this bulletin you will die at midnight.

a very fat black woman named juanita will appear at the foot of your bed 14 minutes before you go to bed track you down and then shove her flaming hot skillet up your ass and make you cook from the inside out so that you will make a fine meal for a poor african boy. the poor african boy's name will be alamabastor

send this in 10 minutes saying "I got a girl/boy friend" and you will live, and a very happy girl will come up to you and thank you for living to this day

and at 2:00 tomorrow the most amazing thing in your life will happen!!

deviantART: Seabiscut22: Holy...crap

GOP memo touts new terror attack as way to reverse party's decline, pick up hot Christian babes

"A confidential memo circulating among senior Republican leaders suggests that a new attack by terrorists on U.S. soil could reverse the sagging fortunes of President George W. Bush as well as the GOP and 'restore his image as a leader of the American people.'

The closely-guarded memo lays out a list of scenarios to bring the Republican party back from the political brink, including a devastating attack by terrorists that could “validate” the President’s war on terror and allow Bush to “unite the country” in a “time of national shock and sorrow.”

The memo says such a reversal in the President's fortunes could keep the party from losing control of Congress in the 2006 midterm elections."
(more) Capitol Hill Blue: GOP memo touts new terror attack as way to reverse party's decline

Books Bound in Human Skin; Lampshade Myth? - Opinion


"History of Anthropodermic Bindings

The use of human skin as a medium may be as old as human history itself - the flaying of defeated enemies or prisoners and the use/abuse of their skin dates back to ancient and perhaps even prehistoric times. The ancient Assyrians, in particular, were known for flaying their captives alive and displaying the skins on city walls. Legends and folk tales unavoidably contaminate the factual history of human skin use; books or parchments made of human skin are rumored to have been created as early as the middle ages, when the tanning of human skin (and preservation of other body parts) became something of a fad. While their credibility is questionable, there are some historical reports of a 13th century bible and a text of the Decretals (Catholic canon law) written on human skin.
" (more) Books Bound in Human Skin; Lampshade Myth? - Opinion

Friday, November 11, 2005

Friday web zen: robot zen

Veteran's Day - Marine's Final Salute to fallen comrades | MetaFilter

Marine's Final Salute to fallen comrades Very emotional piece by the
Rocky Mountain News where they shadow'ed a Marine that is responsible
for notifying next-of-kin. Seeing as today is Veteran's Day, how 'bout
we salute our men and women in uniform ... and leave the
political discussions for other forums.

Marine's Final Salute to fallen comrades | MetaFilter

Americans Celebrate Veteran's Day
Voice of America - 3 hours ago
... Veteran's Day was first celebrated in the United States in 1919 as Armistice Day, honoring those who served in the first World War. ...
Light levels during Veteran's Day morning rush hour
Minneapolis Star Tribune (subscription), MN - 2 hours ago
The morning rush hour continued today in the Twin Cities on this Veteran's Day with light to moderate traffic levels and one accident. ...
The History of Veteran's Day
Military.com - 5 hours ago
... 1954. On June 1, President Eisenhower signs legislation changing the name of the legal holiday from Armistice Day to Veteran’s Day. ...
Veteran's Day Parade Brings Road Closings
WTVF, TN - 51 minutes ago
It’sa day to honor those who have served our country and Nashville will celebrate Friday afternoon with the annual Veteran’s Day parade. ...
Guard members return home on Veteran's Day
KXMA, ND - 1 hour ago
About 65 soldiers from a Grand Forks-based National Guard unit flew home early this morning, after nearly a year of duty in Iraq. ...
Bucyrus High students observe Veteran's Day
Bucyrus Telegraph Forum, United States - 3 hours ago
... Oyster lead students, staff, and guests in the pledge of allegiance to kick off the Veteran's Day Program that was held for the high school students Thursday ...
Veteran's Day events
Albany Times Union, NY - 5 hours ago
Veterans Day ceremony. ... Notes: Ceremony will commemorate Veterans Day and open up the museum's new World War II exhibit. Veterans Day Parade. ...
Happy Veteran's Day...
American Daily, OH - 4 hours ago
ending what would be called the "great war" or "the war to end all wars". recognized holiday; Armistice Day. And it wasn't until 1954 that the name of. ...
Veteran's Day
WBOY-TV, WV - 5 hours ago
Veteran's Day is set aside to remember those who have fought in service to America. There are several ceremonies scheduled around ...
Remembrance Day/ Veteran's Day, 2005
Defense Industry Daily, MD - 14 hours ago
... nation's service. Americans know this day as Veteran's Day, and a number of
European countries know it as Armistice Day. There is ...

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Fear and Loathing in the Mystery Machine

"Excerpts from the never-aired 1973 Scooby Doo episode with guest star Hunter S. Thompson

We were ten minutes south of San Clemente when the putrid green daisy walls of the van started closing in. I recall the fat four-eyed lesbian sweater girl saying something like 'are you okay, Mr. Duke? We've got a mystery to solve...' when suddenly the gullet of the garish chartreuse steel beast began to spasm, as if a digestive track readying itself to vomit. I began clawing at my hamstrings and when I turned my head I was looking into the irridescent eyes of a grotesque animal screeching 'Ruh Roh! Ruh Roh!' in a hoarse irritating dog-accented gibberish. That's when it things began to turn weird.

I fought off the ether hallucinations and fly swarms and fumbled through my medical bag for my 9 millimeter and another shot of absinthe. I pushed off the safety and casually popped off three quick rounds, through the shag carpet stomach lining of the nauseous steel beast that was consuming all of us, and it began thrashing angrily. The lesbian was screaming, and the two Aryan Hitler Youth were screaming, and the grotesque talking dog jumped into the arms of the whimpering hippie boy. Holy sweet Jesus Christ, I thought, don't these people realize we're about be eaten alive by poorly-drawn Chevrolet? 'Nevermind,' I said. They would see it all soon enough, after the nightshade cookies and Scooby snack kicked in."
(more) iowahawk: Fear and Loathing in the Mystery Machine

'Jerking off' passe? The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator will help

Go to the link and hit reload for endless euphemisms for hazing the lucky goggles... putting a kink in the snowman... parting the cheap trout...

"They found him naked in the alley behind the bar,
rocking the oboe."

The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator

Marine Corps Birthday - Happy 230th | MetaFilter

It's the 230th birthday of the United States Marine Corps. Every 10 NOV current, future, and former Marines gather to commemorate the founding of the USMC. GoDaddy's founder Bob Parsons is a former Marine, and makes it a habit to send out birthday wishes every year. (flash)

Happy 230th | MetaFilter

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Lesbian Cheerleaders: Hell Hath No Fury Like a Lesbian Cheerleader

Finally, caught on camera, we see them— the Lesbian Cheerleaders. The angry sirens finally showed their faces, albeit in a pitiable meltdown. They did not go gently. The bruise the blond butch gave that straight woman who crossed her is a shiner for the ages. They fought the sheriff; they went down slammin'. Those TopCats sure are tough.

Do you have any idea how many "lesbian cheerleader porn sites"(yeah, NSFW, go figure) there are? I gave up flipping the Google pages. Not one of those women is a real cheerleader; none of them are out-of-the-closet lesbians making a serious declaration. There are no "Goddammit, I'm a real dyke and a genuine cheerleader" forums. No esoteric little support groups. Nada. (more)

Susie Bright's Journal : Hell Hath No Fury Like a Lesbian Cheerleader

Chuck Norris: Top Thirty Facts

Some real gems here. For example:

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

More facts HERE!

Experts Warn About Powdered Alcohol Being Sold Online (Internet)

"Not sure if this qualifies as a technical breakthrough, but apparently alcohol is now being sold in a handy powdered form. The German company that sells it on the Internet, with the odd and eerie name “Subyou” is coming under fire for selling a product that I guess minors are buying. Meanwhile, medical experts warn that the product contain preservatives and may harm your health. Like that jug of Jack Daniels won’t…

“They look harmless enough, the inconspicuous packets often next to the cashier at gas stations, convenience stores, beverage stores and bars. But according to consumer protection officials, that’s what makes them all the more dangerous, since the powder inside contains alcohol, and a lot of it - about 4.8 percent by volume. That is the equivalent of one to one-and-a-half glasses of liquor.”"
(more) Experts Warn About Powdered Alcohol Being Sold Online (Internet)

Adolf Hitler, The Most Famous Christian of the 20th Century?

As told by Robert Flynn:

"Sure, we call Hitler infamous today. But before he started gobbling up European countries like they were little bratwurst sausages, Hitler was famous as a world leader with high moral values and a distinctly Christian vision.

In fact, no present politician has more blatantly declared his Christianity than Hitler, or has had his faith so widely accepted. Millions of Christians around the world admired the savvy tyrant; a couple of his more recognizable fans included Britain's Lloyd George and that all-American idol of idols, Charles Lindbergh."

The J-Walk Blog: The Most Famous Christian?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Homestar Runner: The Ween Aught Five

Accused 'used head as bowling ball' [08nov05]

"A MAN who allegedly decapitated a 17-year-old boy with a tomahawk in a suburban back yard later was said to have played with the teenager's head, rolling it in a paddock as if it were a bowling ball.

A chilling videotape showing police interviewing one of two men charged with the murder of transient teen Morgan Jay Shepherd was played in Brisbane Magistrates Court yesterday.

Christopher Clark Jones, 22, told detectives in the interview recorded in April that his co-accused, James Patrick Roughan, 25, stomped on Shepherd's head several times before stabbing him with a kitchen knife, then decapitating him. Mr Jones and Mr Roughan are facing a committal hearing on charges they murdered Shepherd and interfered with his corpse."
(more) The Advertiser: Accused 'used head as bowling ball' [08nov05]

Cheerleader sex in a bathroom - Panthers cheerleaders thrown off squad following arrest

Keathley and Thomas, mebbe they will release a sex tape?

Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders who witnesses told police were having sex with each other in a bathroom stall at a Tampa, Fla., nightclub were arrested and charged early Sunday following a run-in with patrons and police.

According to a police report obtained by the CBS TV affiliate in Tampa and the Charlotte Observer, Angela Ellen Keathley and Renee Thomas were arrested following an incident at Banana Joe's, in Tampa's Channelside district, at 2:10 a.m. ET. (more) ESPN.com - NFL - Panthers cheerleaders thrown off squad following arrest

Other great links on SnarkySpot!:
Hot Sisters
Anna Kournikova in a yellow bikini plays crotch peekaboo
Babes of the Goose: adriana lima victorias secret christmas 2004
Snarkybabes Pics: Britney Spears
Keira Knightley photos
Jessica Alba pics!
Chopper babe - Photos of a bikini girl on a motorcycle at Flickr
Yummy! Two Girls Kissing
Team Photo: Sheer Perfection
daedalsobriquet: so last night i saw motley crue
Scary women of bodybuilding
Yamaha causes 'bumpy irritation'? or "Mama, it burns!!!"
Guy tries to launch bottle rocket from clenched buttcheeks
Twenty Underused Yoga Positions
Hot babe + man boobs = best radio stunt evah!
Black guy's ninja skills are both questionable and painfully funny
White boy rappin': Horrible and funny (mp3s available)
Nympho robot takes political action (stinky Flash anim?)
Hippo eats dwarf
What the hell is wrong with people?!?
Wigger Comix!
Japanese chicks slap the taste from each other's mouths!

My new fighting technique is unstoppable!
Prison Survival Guide
God loves... the gays?
Punch yourself in the face!
When celebrities SNAP: Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake battle midget paparazzi!
Biker Fox is ready to come to work!
Stick figure vet loving up on a cow
EA Games management motivational posters
What the hell is wrong with this picture?
Food chain sells 6 lb. hamburger
Spongebob Squarepants pukes!
Who does this baby belong to?
The New Yorker Spins Senate Antics Old Skool

Independent films top 50 - Empire's 50 Greatest Independent Films

Night of the Living Dead is at #6, good call! :)

Empire's 50 Greatest Independent Films

Monday, November 07, 2005

Mydirtyipod (kottke.org) pornographers and iPods!

Cutting edge? Or is that 'cunting edge'?

"Once again, the pornographers are on the cutting edge of technology. Feast your eyes on the Web 2.0ness of mydirtyipod, which offers naughty iPod-ready videos and podcasts. I'm gonna spell this one out for you: NOT SAFE FOR WORK."

Greatest Internet Moments

Greatest Internet Moments

A good trip down the Internet's memory lane.

(from kottke)

Jesus of the Week 2005

Oh, so naughty...

"No. J2K1-118

Yes, the fantasies of every young girl should include Jesus, especially young girls in Victorian clothing. God knows (and He's probably none too happy about it) what's on this thoughtful young filly's mind. But looking at that stern, demanding father figure of a Christ and those well-muscled Biblical studs in the corners, it ain't hard to guess. Plus, it appears that that Bible is open to Psalms, and you know what that means.
--Peter Gilstrap"

Jesus of the Week 2005

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Alternate Endings to Famous Literary Works as Written by a 15-Year-Old With a Grudge.

"Rip Van Winkle

After retreating to the woods on a hunting trip, Rip Van Winkle drinks a mysterious potion and falls asleep for 20 years, during which the American Revolution passes him by. When he awakens, he finds that his friend Dan, who can be a real asshole sometimes, has written 'Balls' on his forehead. Then Dan tells everyone at school about it."

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Alternate Endings to Famous Literary Works as Written by a 15-Year-Old With a Grudge.

Flying Spaghetti Monster - Creator gets $80,000 advance for book deal

"Villard is paying an $80,000 advance to the creator of a religion designed to make fun of intelligent design. This summer, Bobby Henderson, 25, an unemployed slot-machine engineer, posted a much-forwarded open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education declaring that “there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design” on his Website. He contends that a huge, invisible beast made of spaghetti and meatballs created the world about 4,000 years ago (pasta of that vintage has been found in China, he points out). The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which will codify Pastafarianism, is set to come out on Valentine’s Day. “My hope is that readers won’t know if I’m trying to make a point about pseudoscience or if I’m a complete nut,” says Henderson. “I’ll be really disappointed if it doesn’t spawn a cult.”" The Case For Intelligent Design: Spaghetti as the Creator

Porn - Internet Spotlight v2.0 at Something Awful (SFW, if u don't click links in article lolol)

"At a Glance: If the Internet were a planet then pornography would be its America. Pornographic content is the hegemony that spreads and rules wherever it sets foot. Pornography, like America, has a lot of attractive aspects that make people want to love it, but you'll also feel kind of guilty and empty about loving it because America isn't a woman. She can't hug you with her nuclear arms. Just as America has the Deep South, so the Internet's verdant land of free pornography also has its fair share of horror and real depravity. In this very special edition of the Horrors of Porn join us as we take a look at three of the worst video clips the Internet has to offer.

Nations of Origin: U-S-A! U-S-A!

Languages: English.

Sexual Content: Totally uncensored wigs, monkey suits and gigantic papier-mache phalluses."
(more) Something Awful

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Zombies! - Dead Run - How did movie zombies get so fast? By Josh Levin

"It's not for nothing that zombies are called the walking dead. In George A. Romero's classic Night of the Living Dead (1968), a group of shut-ins sits in terror, watching television for the latest updates on the creeping undead menace. 'Are they slow-moving, chief?' asks a reporter. 'Yeah,' the cop says wearily, 'they're dead.'

Romero's canonical trilogy, which also includes Dawn of the Dead (1978) and Day of the Dead (1985), emphasizes the zombie's drag-ass nature. Corpses shuffle so slowly that a potential victim can fall, brush herself off, remove her pumps, and set off again without being touched by a necrotic finger. Max Brooks' book The Zombie Survival Guide, a tongue-in-cheek tutorial for surviving the living dead, notes, 'Zombies appear to be incapable of running. The fastest have been observed to move at a rate of barely one step per 1.5 seconds.'"
(more) Dead Run - How did movie zombies get so fast? By Josh Levin

World Mouseclicking Competition!

I got 59 clicks in 10 seconds, and I was just half assing it. Who can stand against my greatness? HMMM?!?

"Have you got what it takes to be a Big Fast Finger round town?
Or are you a bit of a limp clicker?

Try this throroughly useless game below.
Press 'Start' and then click like crazy for ten seconds."

World Mouseclicking Competition!

mp3s of old TV show theme songs

Hummers going unsold: One Giant Metaphor

Man, that would be hella fun to run down the line of those Hummers, giving each one a lil love tap with a crowbar...

Tim Iacono over at The Mess That Greenspan Made did that rarest of things for bloggers, he actually reported a story! And what a story. He heard a rumor that his local Hummer dealer was in a panic. With year-to-year sales down about 50%, his lot was being overrun with inventory. This was scaring away customers, so he found a nearby industrial park where he could store the oversized vehicles. Thus was born the great photo metaphor of the state of 21st century America:

LeftCoastBreakdown: One Giant Metaphor


Originally uploaded by malefactor.

People watch a firefighter putting out a fire in Paris suburb Aulnay sous Bois, early Thursday, Nov. 3, 2005. Youths battled with police in Paris' troubled suburbs for a seventh straight night, setting fire to a car dealership and hurling stones at police in at least 10 towns, officials said Thursday. (AP Photo/Christophe Ena)

Paris Hilton in bra and panties for Halloween, how original (NSFW link) picrank.com

I totally don't understand why there is a Buster Keaton image mixed in with all the pics of women at the link. (click pic for larger image)


Friday, November 04, 2005

Friday web zen: group show zen

Thursday, November 03, 2005

320 people arrested for sorcery, Harry Potter unavailable for comment

PORT MORESBY (Reuters) - Police in Papua New Guinea have arrested 320 people for practicing sorcery and religious cults, the National newspaper reported Thursday.

Belief in sorcery is widespread in this jungle-clad, mountainous South Pacific island nation where some villages only encountered Western civilization in the 1930s.

Police raided three villages Monday near the city of Lae on the north coast and arrested leaders of a "cargo cult" and their followers, the newspaper said. Those arrested were aged between 20 and 70.

Cargo cults believe that Western goods or cargo, first encountered through missionaries and explorers, are created by ancestral spirits. They have been known to build airstrips in the jungles in the belief that planes would land with cargo.

One group led by two women used menstrual blood as "sacred water" to enable them to see "invisible things," said the newspaper in the capital, Port Moresby.

One of the female cult leaders, Malamba Kifea, said the sorcery improved the livelihood of the people in Kasin village, a remote settlement some eight hours walk from the main highway.

"We read the Bible and in the book of Leviticus, we found strange teachings about women and their monthly period," Kifea told The National. (more)


What Happens In My Vagina Stays In My Vagina Mug > Vagina > The Drinks Are On You :: Cool Shit For Cool People | CafePress

Beyond Chutzpah - the misuse of anti-Semitism

"Audacity. Cheekiness. Daring. Gutsiness. Any one of these words can define the Yiddish word, “chutzpah” with both positive and negative nuances. But as DePaul Professor Norm Finkelstein demonstrates in his new book, “Beyond Chutzpah: On the Misuse of Anti-Semitism and the Abuse of History”, there are those who take chutzpah too far in the negative direction." (more) ZNet |Israel/Palestine | Beyond Chutzpah

Pot is hot: The cannabis connoisseur

"Bennett contends you're missing out if you're not inhaling from a vaporizer. A vaporizer costs around $800, weighs about six pounds and looks like a metallic volcano. 'It forces hot air up through the marijuana, causing the resin to melt and turn into vapour. It tastes better, and there's no carbon or smoke, so the health dangers associated with smoking are removed.' But wait. Whatever happened to the trusty bong? 'I don't like bongs,' says Bennett. 'Bongs are a European thing, nothing the Canadian connoisseur would use.'" (more) Macleans.ca | Top Stories | Life | The cannabis connoisseur

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Photoshop contest: FARK.com: (1729113) A political flamewar: Use only Magic The Gathering cards

Holy crapoli, this is one of the best Fark photoshop contests ever.

Image by EL_FABREZ

FARK.com: (1729113) A political flamewar: Use only Magic The Gathering cards

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

eBay: My Cheating Wife or EX Wife Pictures (item 5629508033 end time Nov-06-05 07:00:00 PST)

$3.99 for emailed pics? What a scam. You can find cheating wife pics for free, just go to google and type in 'cheating wife pics'. Duh.

"Let me tell you what happened, I get home and find my wife sleeping with my friend!!! I was outraged at the time but I'll get my payback.

What you are bidding on is our honeymoon pictures of my wife posing for me in many different poses. She had made me promise I would never show them to anyone but what better way to get back at her then to spread her all over the internet.

As you can see she is very good looking (which I'm sure is why my backstabbing friend messed around with her) and I have several pictures which I will E-mail upon receipt of payment.

Please help me by spreading her pictures all around the internet plus at the same time they are great pictures worth the price.

I accept PayPal only since the pictures will be sent when the payment is received. Please E-mail me if you have any questions or concerns.

P.S. Attn Ebay: These pictures are not pornography and I own the rights to these pictures. I am abiding by Ebay Regulations.

P.S.S. Attn Ebay: I know the listing was removed before but I have corrected it to fully comply with the Ebay Rules and Regulations.

P.S.S. What the heck, if you purchase you will also receive a gift along with the purchase. As a way of saying thanks!"

eBay: My Cheating Wife or EX Wife Pictures (item 5629508033 end time Nov-06-05 07:00:00 PST)

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