* don't kill people if you can help it. if they're bad people, satan would rather have them out doing evil in the world. if they're good people, they go to heaven and nobody wants that. * if you must fuck with people, better to make them say 'why god why?' than 'god help me.' real torture leads people to find their inner strength and shit, petty meanness makes people lose faith in each other. better to hit their dog with your car and drive away laughing. * don't try to make the world a better place. i know this is a no-brainer but you'd be surprised the kind of goody two shoes want to be satan's buds. don't give money to amnesty international or the nra or even the fucking kiwanis club. keep your cash for yourself, spend it on cigs and porn, put it in stocks bonds and iras, who gives a shit. anyway the world is pretty much just how satan likes it, and if he wants it different he'll tell you. * don't try to tempt people to sin. it's a union thing, and believe me you don't want to scab on demons. just kill puppies and leave the rest to the professionals. * oh, and don't get caught, asshole. you definitely won't do satan any favors from a padded cell in willard."lumpley games: kill puppies for satan
Study shows chimps closer to humans, your mom than to apes
"Intriguingly, both humans and chimpanzees appear to have evolved slower than gorillas and orangutans," they wrote in their report.
Experts have long known that humans and chimps share much DNA, and are in fact 96 percent identical on the genetic level.
Yi's team looked at several specific genes and compared the difference between human and chimpanzee.
One very noticeable difference is the longer generation time of humans.
"Humans take almost twice as long to reach sexual maturity as chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes) and gorillas (Gorilla gorillas), have a longer lifespan, and have a longer gestation period as compared to any nonhuman hominoid," the researchers wrote." (more)
If a car can survive Katrina, it must be good? - Yahoo! News
If a car can survive Katrina, it must be good? - Yahoo! News: "John Garamendi warned that some dealers and salvage yards were selling cars water damaged in places such as New Orleans, which was hit by both hurricanes last year. The cars had been dried out and cosmetically cleaned for resale, he said."
After laughing heartily at the photo at the link, I thought, "WHY WOULD SOMEONE TAKE A PICTURE OF THEMSELVES LIKE THAT?" (pic is mostly SFW, no weiner showing)
Nowhere else and beyond: "Nowhere Else and Beyond is perhaps the first Web 2D RPG which gives the players the opportunity to create/develop the world by letting you create quests and exotic locations without the need to even code a single line.
And the best of all that ? It's free, it runs within your browser, no download, no plug in, and works on all platforms. Firefox/Mozilla recommanded as it provide better performances."
The tyrannical tyke in the Fox animated series 'Family Guy' will be the virtual host of a talk show being developed strictly for the Internet later this year.
Stewie's show will be based on familyguy.com (http://www.familyguy.com) and other News Corp.-owned Web properties catering to the young demographics that have embraced the Fox series." (more) CNN.com - 'Family Guy's' Stewie hosting talk show - Jan 25, 2006
DVD release of Takashi Miike’s controversial film “Imprint” Moriarty's DVD Shelf
"– IDT Entertainment’s Anchor Bay Entertainment proudly announces the upcoming exclusive DVD release of Takashi Miike’s controversial film “Imprint” from the critically acclaimed MASTERS OF HORROR anthology series.
Premiering on the Showtime cable network in October 2005 to critical and public acclaim, each MASTERS OF HORROR film stands alone as an exercise in terror, written and directed with complete artistic freedom by the genre’s leading practitioners.
MASTERS OF HORROR is the ultimate director-driven project. “Imprint” is the only one from the thirteen episodes produced that will not air. “Like all the films in this groundbreaking series,” says executive producer John W. Hyde, ‘Imprint’ was made with no restrictions whatsoever on the filmmaker and we are honored to be able to bring Miike’s unadulterated vision to the fans.”
Miike observed: “To tell you the truth, I was not surprised to hear that ‘Imprint’ would not air. Through the experience of directing this episode, I have discovered that while humor can have its limits, fear has no limits. I could not suppress the volume of terror that this film conveys.”
Based on the terrifying novel “Bokkee Kyoutee” (Kadokawa Shoten Publishing Co., LTD) by Shimako Iwai, Takashi Miike’s “Imprint,” produced by Kadokawa Pictures USA and filmed at Kadokawa Pictures in Tokyo, Japan, is set amid the corpse-strewn riverbanks of 19th century Japan in this tale of an American journalist (Billy Drago, “The Untouchables” and “Demon Hunter”), hoping to find a love he left behind. The journalist’s hunt leads to a dark island where the only refuge is a brothel. Spending the night with a unique woman (Youki Kudoh, “Memoirs of a Geisha”), he learns the danger of dredging up old ghosts." (more) Moriarty's DVD Shelf: The Big News Today...
"Okay, you have created your master piece and burnt it to DVD using DVD SP or iDVD. As you only want this one copy and need hard drive space, you trashed the entire DVD project. Soon after, you find that you now need extra copies of the DVD (typical). What follows is the process for making DVD copies from DVDs that are not Copyright protected. We will use the Finder in Tiger, Panther and Jaguar.
As most of us only have one DVD drive in our Macs, this will be a two step process. First we will need to copy the information from the DVD to our hard drive and eject the original DVD. When we copy the original DVD will will make a 'disc image' (.dmg) of it on our hard drive. A disc image is an exact and perfect clone of the original. Then we will insert a blank DVD and burn the DVD disc image to the blank DVD." (instructions at link) How To Make Copies of DVDs:
Blog Search is Google search technology focused on blogs. Google is a strong believer in the self-publishing phenomenon represented by blogging, and we hope Blog Search will help our users to explore the blogging universe more effectively, and perhaps inspire many to join the revolution themselves. Whether you're looking for Harry Potter reviews, political commentary, summer salad recipes or anything else, Blog Search enables you to find out what people are saying on any subject of your choice.
Your results include all blogs, not just those published through Blogger; our blog index is continually updated, so you'll always get the most accurate and up-to-date results; and you can search not just for blogs written in English, but in French, Italian, German, Spanish, Korean, Brazilian Portuguese and other languages as well.
How do I find Blog Search?
There are a few different ways you can get to Blog Search:
It's the same search in each place, no matter how you get to it. The Navbar, however, provides two buttons: one to search the blog you are currently viewing, and one to search all blogs.
Naked woman on a muscle car (useless article w/o pic)
"DETROIT (Reuters) - Auto aficionados got more than a preview of the hottest models.
Detroit officials are looking into how a woman sneaked into the North American International Auto Show after closing hours early on Tuesday to pose naked on Chrysler's Dodge Challenger muscle car.
Security guards at the Cobo Center where the show is being held this week found the woman standing on the new Challenger, with some people -- mostly men -- taking pictures at about 2 a.m. (0700 GMT) on Tuesday.
'Some people told us there were real cameras there, and some said there were only cellphone cameras,' Jason Vines, a spokesman for DaimlerChrysler's Chrysler Group, said, adding he did not know how many people were there." (more useless words) Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com
The Google Robot FAQ (Last update: November 1st, 2030)
"I've seen a Google Robot in a DVD shop staring at the backside of a DVD for half a minute, then putting it back in the shelf. Why?
Our Google Robots try to record as much information as possible, and this includes movies. As you may know, Google Robots have a micro laser to read from storage devices such as DVDs, CD-ROMs, or even exotic devices from the 1980s (people at that time used so-called "floppy discs," "music tapes," or "gramophone records"). Additionally, a Google Robot may visit the cinema, watch TV, go to a concert, or attend a public reading." (lots more brilliance at link) The Google Robot FAQ (Last update: November 1st, 2030)
Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure (Zork parody) defective yeti: Xyzzy
"Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure Revision 88 / Serial number 54892
Oval Office You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.
There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.
What do you want to do now?
> INVADE IRAQ You are not able to do that, yet.
> LOOK MIRROR Self-reflection is not your strong suit.
> PET SEAL It's not that kind of seal." (more Presidential Zork at link) defective yeti: Xyzzy
"There's the fact that radio producers have moved to podcasting at a rapid clip and made tons of great content that was only available in certain locations at certain times downloadable and enjoyable at the listener's demand.
There's the fact that there's an explosion of new 'indie' content is also available that is lighting up people's ears and minds with stuff that would never be on the radio." (more) The Odeo Blog: Podcasting for Regular People
And of course there's the idea that anyone can potentially create this content and find an audience in this, the 'Next Generation of Radio.'"
We are bloggers with boatloads of opinions, and none of us come close to agreeing with any other one of us all of the time. But we do agree on this: The new leadership in the House of Representatives needs to be thoroughly and transparently free of the taint of the Jack Abramoff scandals, and beyond that, of undue influence of K Street.
We are not naive about lobbying, and we know it can and has in fact advanced crucial issues and has often served to inform rather than simply influence Members.
But we are certain that the public is disgusted with excess and with privilege. We hope the Hastert-Dreier effort leads to sweeping reforms including the end of subsidized travel and other obvious influence operations. Just as importantly, we call for major changes to increase openness, transparency and accountability in Congressional operations and in the appropriations process.
As for the Republican leadership elections, we hope to see more candidates who will support these goals, and we therefore welcome the entry of Congressman John Shadegg to the race for Majority Leader. We hope every Congressman who is committed to ethical and transparent conduct supports a reform agenda and a reform candidate. And we hope all would-be members of the leadership make themselves available to new media to answer questions now and on a regular basis in the future.
The Straight Dope: Why do we nod our heads for "yes" and shake them for "no"?
"Dear Cecil:
Why do we nod our heads for 'yes' and shake them for 'no,' instead of the other way around? Are there any peoples who reverse the gestures? --Have to Know, Chicago
Cecil replies:
Believe it or not, H., some people think this is a silly question. Little do they know. No less a personage than Charles Darwin looked into it and wrote up his findings in a book called The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (1872). Darwin was interested in finding out whether there were universal gestures and expressions, so he sent out a questionnaire to missionaries and whatnot that, among other things, asked what gesticulations the locals used to convey 'yes' and 'no.' Nodding and head-shaking turned out to be pretty common, but there were some striking exceptions. For example, certain Australian natives, when uttering a negative, 'don't shake the head, but holding up the right hand, shake it by turning it half round and back again two or three times.' One Captain Speedy--I can't say the name inspires much confidence--told Darwin that the Abyssinians said 'no' by jerking the head to the right shoulder and making a slight cluck, while 'yes' was expressed by the head being thrown backwards and the eyebrows raised for an instant. The Dyaks of Borneo supposedly raised their eyebrows for 'yes' and slightly contracted them, 'together with a peculiar look of the eyes,' for 'no.' Eskimoes nodded for 'yes' and winked for 'no.'" (more) The Straight Dope: Why do we nod our heads for "yes" and shake them for "no"?
Tear Drop Memories: catalog of stuff dealing with Death
"Death, la Morte, the final frontier. Tear Drop Memories . Com is devoted to exploring the myriad of mourning mementos and mysteries. Fine funeral fancies, exit strategies and vintage tangible aids to the grieving process abound. Rare cemetery memorial ornaments, antiquarian books and photographic images post mortem, and just plain bizarre mortuary collectibles grace our not so solemn web site. Delicate memento mori jewelry, celebrate past lives lost.
Often the butt of jokes, The Big Sleep holds many in deep fascination. We both fear and venerate the dead since the beginning of time. Whistle when strolling a grave yard at midnight? That truly is black comedy. Some obsess on senseless tragedy and the arbitrary fall of the grim reapers sickle. Yet, is there comfort found in deaths finality, in knowing its certain outcome. We know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee. "Tear Drop Memories
Jumping the couch - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"Jumping the couch is a term coined in 2005, modeled after the term 'jumping the shark'. The term was coined by Urban Dictionary to describe when 'someone has gone off the deep end' and is a reference to the infamous couch-jumping scene by Tom Cruise on The Oprah Winfrey Show. The term is usually synonymous with a nervous breakdown.
The editors of the Historical Dictionary of American Slang chose the term as the 'slang term of the year' 2005. It was also chosen by the nonprofit group Global Language Monitor as one of its top phrases for the year." (loads of examples at link) Jumping the couch - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"That's the good thing about the illustrated booklet 101 Illnesses You Don't Want To Get - they are mostly so nasty and mercifully often only obtainable in foreign parts that unless you have totally lost your marbles you know that you are safe." (more) icHuddersfield - In a fever of high curiosity
EVERYONE IN THE FUTURE WILL BE WORLD FAMOUS FOR 15 MINUTES
Since Andy Warhol came out with the "world-famous" sentence in 1968, everyone looking for fame has being wondering how and when he/she’d ever get his/her own opportunity.
The time has come…
TRUST ANDY! BE WORLD FAMOUS!
We guarantee you a 15 MINUTES incredible full size exposure (600x450 pixels) in our main page seen by thousand of people from all over the world!
WHY DID YOU DO IT???
This is a commercial site, built for PROFESSIONALS willing to advertise their own business and INCREASE tremendously TRAFFIC (and SALES!!!) on their respective web sites with a very convenient investment starting from $15!!!!!!! (see TERMS OF USE)
Naked News breaking in Japan market, tentacle pr0n nods head in approval
It's all about the gimmick...
"TOKYO (Hollywood Reporter) - Naked News, which features anchors and reporters who disrobe during newscasts, launched its risque take on current affairs in Japan Tuesday.
Beneath a banner proclaiming Naked News as 'The program with nothing to hide,' Sunrise Corp. CEO Takuya Uchikawa described the service as 'a unique concept for the Japanese market.'
Sunrise, which specializes in sales of goods and services via the Internet, and Naked News owner eGalaxy Multimedia have set a target of 10,000 mobile subscribers in the first year.
'We would not have dared to come to Japan unless we were convinced that there was a definite market, and we now see there is a massive market here, we have a partner that understands that market and the technological skills to provide an enjoyable product,' eGalaxy Multimedia Inc. CEO David Warga said." (more) Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com
Lucky dozen prisoners get conjugal visits, but no boom boom soul brother, too buchu
"BEIJING (Reuters) - Twelve exemplary inmates at Beijing Women's Prison will be allowed to celebrate Chinese New Year with 24-hour conjugal visits from their husbands, Xinhua news agency said Tuesday.
'The prison authorities said they will select one woman with exemplary behavior from each of the prison's 12 units to enjoy the special treatment,' Xinhua said, adding that it was the first time conjugal visits had been allowed at the prison.
The prison had 12 standard guest rooms with separate bathrooms, double beds and 'other necessary facilities for the special day.'" (more) Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com
"This is no game. You might think this is a game, but, trust me, this is no game.
This is not something where rock beats scissors or paper covers rock or rock wraps itself up in paper and gives itself as a present to scissors. This isn’t anything like that. Or where paper types something on itself and sues scissors.
This isn’t something where you yell “Bingo!” and then it turns out you don’t have bingo after all, and what are the rules again? This isn’t that, my friend." (more weirdness at link) The New Yorker: Shouts and Murmurs
Handmade Flying Spaghetti Monster Plush FSM (item 6011889705 end time 15-Nov-05 00:39:19 EST)
Man, that is pretty damn cool. Auction ended 15 Nov 2005, went for $510.00. Not bad, posable noodles!
"Ahoy 'der matie.
Here be the prize plunder of me last voyage. It be none o'der than a plush toy in the image of our mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster!
This hand crafted plush toy will not only look wonderfully great on yer cube desk or mantle but one touch to His noodly appendage will ensure ye direct and speedy access to the heaven of the Flying Spaghetti Monster upon yer death.* Ye will bask in the glory of the beer volcano and enjoy the convince of the adjacent stripper factory.
Not only will yer bid benefit ye in the afterlife, but it will benefit the National Center for Science Education right away. All of the proceeds from the auction will be donated, and for a limited time, if ye bid before the end of the auction, I'll take advantage of the donation matching provided by my employer. 200% of the bounty will be donated up to 1000 gallions (a.k.a. USD) matching.
"They're exploring the deep sea and distant planets. They're saving lives in the operating room and on the battlefield. They're transforming factory floors and filmmaking. They're - oh c'mon, they're just plain cool! From Qrio to the Terminator, here are our absolute favorites (at least for now)."Wired 14.01: The 50 Best Robots Ever
Judge Tells Priest to Provide Proof of Christ's Existence
"Father Enrico Righi, a priest who denounced the writer of The Fable of Christ in his parish newsletter, has been ordered by a judge to prove that Christ existed in order to win the case bought against him by the books author." (more) Judge Tells Priest to Provide Proof of Christ's Existence
I bet the school janitors were hating life when that fluid festival happened.
"Some 250 students and 20 staff members from the Holyrood School in Somerset, England were diagnosed with a contagious virus on Friday which causes vomiting and diarrhoea. 1,000 children were absent from the school."(more) 250 Students Diagnosed with Vomit Bug
Wow. That is plenty crazy looking. See the link for a full size image.
"This is, and I have no reason to doubt, the result of a successful facial transplant in Xi'an, China.
If it's creepy, well hey -- there was the case of the human facial near-transplant that happened in France a few weeks ago; so maybe it isn't creepy after all, except..."
"The Sex Lives and Sexual Frustrations of US troops in Iraq "Well over a hundred thousand American men and women, most younger than 30, spend a year or more at a time in a foreign country where they are almost totally isolated from the indigenous population. Are all these troops really chaste for those long periods, as called for by military regulations?" posted by halekon at 6:10 PM PST (56 comments total)" Soldiers in Iraq and sex | MetaFilter
NASA's Mars rover Opportunity woke up approximately an hour after sunset and took this picture of the fading twilight as the stars began to come out. Set against the fading red glow of the sky, the pale dot near the center of the picture is not a star, but a planet -- Earth.
Own The Last 1,000 Pixels on MillionDollarHomepage.com (item 5652179487 end time 11-Jan-06 18:42:28 GMT)
Wow. The current bid is at $21,000, so he's gonna end up making well over $1 million. Good for him.
"Hi folks!
Welcome to my eBay auction for the last 1,000 pixels of advertising space on my world-famous site, MillionDollarHomepage.com
You may have seen some of the international media coverage that my site has recently received, including: CNN, Wall Street Journal, Vanity Fair, MSNBC, ABC News, Fox News, BBC, MSN, Yahoo!... the list goes on - a long way. I've already sold 999,000 pixels of advertising space on MillionDollarHomepage.com, but due to exceptionally high demand for pixels I decided to do the most logical thing and auction the final 1,000 pixels right here on eBay.
At the time of writing, MillionDollarHomepage.com has received over 1.5 million unique visitors and over 2.7 million page impressions in the last 7 days alone, leading to huge exposure and click-throughs for the advertisers on the homepage. Considering the site will be online for the next 5 years guaranteed, the long-term value of advertising on my site is immense (but remember my aim is to keep it online for decades to come - like an internet time capsule). At the time of writing, Alexa.com ranks my site 127th out of ALL websites on the internet. This is your last chance to literally own a piece of 'internet history'!
The winning bidder will not only win last 1,000 pixels on the homepage, they will also receive a huge amount of publicity associated with winning this eBay auction and my site finally reaching the million dollar mark. I will also mention the winning bidder on my blog, which is read by tens of thousands of people every day. This truely is a unique, one-off, hugely valuable marketing opportunity. Happy bidding!
The WMF vulnerability uses images (WMF images) to execute arbitrary code. It will execute just by viewing the image. In most cases, you don't have click anything. Even images stored on your system may cause the exploit to be triggered if it is indexed by some indexing software. Viewing a directory in Explorer with 'Icon size' images will cause the exploit to be triggered as well.
Is it better to use Firefox or Internet Explorer?
Internet Explorer will view the image and trigger the exploit without warning. New versions of Firefox will prompt you before opening the image. However, in most environments this offers little protection given that these are images and are thus considered 'safe'.
What versions of Windows are affected?
All. Windows 2000, Windows XP, (SP1 and SP2), Windows 2003. All are affected to some extent. Mac OS-X, Unix or BSD is not affected.
Note: If you're still running on Win98/ME, this is a watershed moment: we believe (untested) that your system is vulnerable and there will be no patch from MS. Your mitigation options are very limited. You really need to upgrade.
What can I do to protect myself?
Microsoft has not yet released a patch. An unofficial patch was made available by Ilfak Guilfanov. Our own Tom Liston reviewed the patch and we tested it. The reviewed and tested version is available here (now at v1.3, MD5: 14d8c937d97572deb9cb07297a87e62a), PGP signature (signed with ISC key) here. THANKS to Ilfak Guilfanov for providing the patch!!
You can unregister the related DLL.
Virus checkers provide some protection.
To unregister the DLL:
Click Start, click Run, type "regsvr32 -u %windir%\system32\shimgvw.dll" (without the quotation marks), and then click OK.
A dialog box appears to confirm that the un-registration process has succeeded. Click OK to close the dialog box.
"A serious new remotely exploitable vulnerability has been discovered in Microsoft Windows' image processing code.
UNTIL THIS IS REPAIRED BY MICROSOFT, ANY ATTEMPT TO DISPLAY A MALICIOUS IMAGE IN WINDOWS COULD INSTALL MALICIOUS SOFTWARE INTO THE COMPUTER."
I rarely ever say this because I hate getting forwarded email myself, but this is something you should forward to all your family, friends and I.T. associates immediately.
Copulating deaf couple unaware of own volume. Knob goes to 11.
"MOO!" (bang)
"Monday night, a record number of noise complaints were received by Residential Security Officers in Roger Revelle College. Officers responding to the calls found the sexual activity of a deaf couple to be the source of the noises, which were described as 'cacophonous' by witnesses.
The first officer on the scene, Frank Zipelli, reported, 'I could hear those two all the way from the parking lot.' According to Zipelli, 'It sounded as if they were bludgeoning a cow. There would be a low moan, like a ‘moo,’ and then a ‘bang’ and a higher-pitched ‘moo.’ It was like ‘MOO…BANG…MOOO!’'" (more) Hearing Loss News and Articles: Copulating deaf couple unaware of own volume
"I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU (or, ISHTY) is an online community emotional art project of sorts. Through others attempts to share their regrets we can learn more about ourselves and our neighbors. Anyone should feel free to contribute with a sincere regret of what they could have, or more likely should have, told someone who has touched their lives."
"Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths); 10675: Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.
Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths); 10677: Apelles the chamberlain with Dexter, a slave of Caesar, ate here most agreeably and had a screw at the same time.
Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths); 10678: Apelles Mus and his brother Dexter each pleasurably had sex with two girls twice.
Herculaneum (on a water distribution tower); 10488: Anyone who wants to defecate in this place is advised to move along. If you act contrary to this warning, you will have to pay a penalty. Children must pay [number missing] silver coins. Slaves will be beaten on their behinds." (more graffiti) Graffiti from Pompeii
