Blood-drinking robber nabbed. Crip-drinking robber points and laughs.
"He didn’t just loot homes, but also drank blood. Depending on his booty, the robber sacrificed animals before a deity, drank its blood and even feasted on its meat. This, he believes, keeps the gods happy.
Funny Pictures - Funny Photos Babies Cats Dogs People Funny pictures and photos, funny pictures of babies, funny photos of cats and dogs, funny pictures of people making funny faces featured in funny pictures... www.funnypictureslady.com/ - 69k - Dec 29, 2005 -
This is all beginning to make me feel the truth of what organized crime kingpin Meyer Lansky said before he died: 'The history of the United States is very different from what most people believe.'" posted by digaman at 1:58 PM PST on December 31
Joystiq's top 10 hidden gems of this generation [Joystiq]
"The launch of the Xbox 360, to use a timeless cliché phrase, marked the beginning of the end for this generation. In less than a year, Nintendo and Sony will have replaced their consoles for a 3rd PlayStation and a supposed Revolution. When people look back at this generation, gamers will remember Halo, Grand Theft Auto, World of Warcraft, and 1,001 Mario titles.
What about the games that did not have a built-in audience? How about the titles that tried something different, and for the most part succeeded — at leastartistically? (Financial success is a bit harder to achieve.) Here are Joystiq's picks for the top 10 (well, 11 – we failed math in high school) games you may have passed over this generation, but really need to pick up – think of it as 'Game Appreciation 101.' So, without further ado…" (Top 10 titles at link) Joystiq
"As if threats of pandemic superflu weren't enough, yet another new and potentially fatal 'superbug' is spreading worldwide — including in Tucson. No mere threat, this bug has infected hundreds of Tucsonans already and hospitalized dozens, some with life-threatening illness. Appearing at first as just a pimple, maybe a small cut, the infection often is mistaken by many victims — and their doctors — for a spider bite, delaying vital treatment. Known as MRSA — methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus or 'mersa' — it is in fact a highly contagious bacteria that has developed strong resistance to most antibiotics, making it hard to treat and setting the stage for dangerous invasive disease." (more) Superbug that eats flesh is on the loose | www.azstarnet.com ®
Nice Java time waster, draw lines in the box to direct the flow of falling grains of sand, nice physics simulation and interaction. Won't cure cancer, but won't cause cancer, either. (Except for the death rays shooting out of the monitor at your face, but that's nobody's fault but yours, I'd say...)
Col. Steve Austin...the Twelve Dollar and Forty Nine Cent Man [men-oo-she-a]
From Joe Riley's site, check out the rest of his posts, always some great ephemera to dig through. See this link for the images Joe posted for this Six Million Dollar Man writeup:
Back when I posted about this cool site, Plastic Model Building Mania, I also showed a picture of the great Six Million Dollar Man model that he'd built. I even mention in the post that I was going to go on Ebay and look for my own Steve Austin kit, as I apparently gotten the 70's model kit bug...again! Well...I went biddin' and won, not one, but two...or actually one and most of a second one. I won the very Six Million Dollar Man kit I was looking for..."Jaws of Doom" and most of the "Evil Rider" kit in one auction. I got'em today and I'm posting the great box art and the instruction sheet for "Jaws of Doom".
"Welcome to the official BackwardsBush website. We created both the website and the key chain with the intention of helping people like us cope with the four long years of George W. Bush's second term.
Like any event we look forward to, weddings, weekends, vacations, or the end of a moronic president's second term, counting backwards helps us maintain our sanity while reminding us that an end is in sight, all of which allow time to tick away faster.
While carrying a BackwardsBush key chain won’t change the fact that Dubya is our president, it reassures us that with each passing second, we are one step closer to the next election. It lets us view (literally) these next four years in a positive and entertaining way, while making light of the fact that W. is backwards in a myriad of ways. Most importantly, it stands as a defining symbol of unity for the more than 57 million of us who did not vote for him."Backwards Bush
12 Steps to Burning Down a House (and Alcoholics Anonymous comic from the 60's )
If you haven't burned down a house yet, you obviously aren't drinking enough.
Here are the 12 Steps to Burning Down a House (courtesy of your's truly, Monkeyman):
1) Shotgun a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. 2) Hop around on one foot to test sobriety level. If you fall over, check for broken bones. 3) Drink 2 shots of whiskey. Don't be a sissy, straight shots are way cool. 4) Put on a big coat with lots of pockets, and load up with as many kinds of booze as you can possibly carry. If you sound like someone is shaking a chandelier when you walk, you are ready to rock it in the socket, Elvis. 5) Now that your buzz is really starting to kick in, think back over the previous year. Has anyone pissed you off something fierce? Are they on vacation? Sweet. Hop your drunk ass on a skateboard and head to their house. 6) Stop by a gas station and steal a gallon of gasoline. That's right, baby. You are about to go 'Carrie' on your mortal enemy's house, swiping some gasoline is small potatoes at this point. Do a couple of donuts on your board and chug some Jaegermeister before leaving gas station. 7) This step is optional, but if you need to urinate, nothing is cooler than whizzing while tick-tacking down the middle of the road on your sweet, sweet board. Waggle your weenie at anybody in a vehicle who looks surprised/disgusted/outraged. Don't be intimidated, they are just way jealous of your fly self. 8) Upon arriving at the soon-to-be-torched cottage of your foe, strike a piratey pose on the front lawn and swig some Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum like the true buccaneer that your are. Drink half the bottle, at this point everything is starting to blur quite nicely. 9) Oh hell. Did you pass out? Look around and see if anyone has noticed. Luckily for you, the geraniums provided great cover and concealment. Reward yourself with some wakey wakey nips of vodka. 10) Still got the gasoline you stole? Color yourself awesome! Now start splashing that shit around on your foe's domicile. Won't he be surprised when he gets back from Aruba? Oh yeah. Drink 2 beers if you are still able to remember why he or she pissed you off. If not, drink the beers anyway, before they get warm. 11) Matches are for babies, get 2 sticks and make like Tom Hanks in 'Castaway'. You can make fire, I'm sure of it! Drink some Southern Comfort if you start to get tired. 12) Ok. Let's leave the rubbing sticks to the natives. Since you are too drunk at this point to manage that, start doing axle grinds on the curb until you kick up enough sparks to set the house ablaze. Don't make Tony Hawk and the Baby Jesus cry, you can DO IT!
NOTE: Upon successful torchosity of the house, get your drunk ass OUT OF THERE, the 5-0 are sure to be on the way soon. Have a martini to wrap up the day's event, and be sure to take some pics with your cell phone to show to your friends. Your 'cool' stock is sure to rise, since they prolly just spent the day playing with their new X-Box 360 and/or looking at pr0n on the internets.
"BAGHDAD, Iraq - Maybe it was the time the taxi dumped him at the Iraq-Kuwait border, leaving him alone in the middle of the desert. Or when he drew a crowd at a Baghdad food stand after using an Arabic phrase book to order. Or the moment a Kuwaiti cab driver almost punched him in the face when he balked at the $100 fare.
But at some point, Farris Hassan, a 16-year-old from Florida, realized that traveling to Iraq by himself was not the safest thing he could have done with his Christmas vacation." (more) AP: U.S. Teen Runs Off to Iraq by Himself - Yahoo! News
The new Yahoo! Mail service, which features a "new interface more like that of a desktop e-mail application...[plus] e-mail caching; message preview; drag-and-drop filing, an integrated RSS feeder, and the ability to view multiple e-mails at the same time in separate windows and scroll through all message headers in a folder rather than one page at a time," is getting some pretty good buzz (Leo really raved about it on TWiT last week). It's only out to a select few though -- any MeFites been privy?New Yahoo! Mail Service | MetaFilter
"NEW YORK (Reuters) - The worldwide poker industry appears to have hit every possible inside straight, flush and full house that it could, accumulating a large pot of cash in the process.
But as this holiday season nears an end, the industry's luck seems to be running out as boxed sets of cards and chips are discounted, ratings fade for some poker-themed television shows and shares of a poker-linked stock slump.
From televised celebrity poker tournaments to Internet gambling sites, to thronging tables at Las Vegas casinos and even a weekly column in The New York Times, poker remains an obsession." (more) Poker's lucky streak seen fading in U.S. - Dec. 25, 2005
The strangest part is that the domain continues to belong to Lycos, with Hotwired acting as the nameservers. If you query ns1.hotwired.com for the suck.com domain, it returns 198.65.105.202, an IP address of a Verio server currently hosting over 36,000 domains. The server is owned by a company called ParkingDNS.net, which seems to be hosting nothing but Parkingdots.com affiliate search portals. (more)
Automated Boar Semen Collection System - Google Video
Color this awesome. 4 at once, truly a marriage of technology and the money shot, quite possibly coming to a frat house near you.
"A revolutionary automated boar collection system developed by Genes Diffusion to reduce labor and increase technician safety in the workplace. This automated system allows a single technician to collect up to 4 boars simultaneously."Collectis - Automated Boar Collection System - Google Video
Vincent Schiavelli, Character Actor, Dies - Yahoo! News
"ROME - Vincent Schiavelli (IMDB), the droopy-eyed character actor who appeared in scores of movies, including 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' and 'Ghost,' died Monday at his home in Sicily. He was 57.
He died of lung cancer, said Salvatore Glorioso, mayor of Polizzi Generosa, the Sicilian village where Schiavelli resided.
The New York-born Schiavelli, whose gloomy look made him perfect to play creepy or eccentric characters, made appearances in some 150 film and television productions, according to the Internet Movie Database." (more) Character Actor Vincent Schiavelli Dies - Yahoo! News
"What were the games you played this year that were really exceptional and better than all the rest? Whether the gameplay was gratifying, the narrative immersive, or the game was just fun to play, vote for the games you think were the Best Web Games of 2005. This year, only games that were reviewed here at Jayisgames since last year's Best of 2004 feature are eligible, and all eligible games are listed below.
You may select up to 10 games. Indicate your votes by using the checkbox to the right of each game. Clicking on a game's icon will open a new window for more information about it, and a link to the game if it's still available to play."Vote for The Best Web Games of 2005
Muslim Bikini? No, burqini (is that like a Muslim martini?)
From what I can gather by looking at that picture, she may need to invent the Muslim adult diaper to go with that swank ensemble, because I think she piddled herself, either with the excitement of invention or the fear of imminent stoning.
"ITSY-BITSY, teeny-weeny bikinis are common -- but now multicultural Australia has head-to-foot 'burqinis'.
Designer Aheda Zanetti calls the outfit an 'Islamic bikini' because it has pants and a top.
She said the costume, marketed under the name Ahiida and available on the internet, covered everything except hands, feet and face." (more) Herald Sun: Bikini? No, burqini [25dec05]
Woman kisses orangutan, readers proclaim disgust but save it to 'pr0n' folder anyway
They know they likey likey.
"We've been deluged with phone calls from readers less than heart-warmed by the front-page photo of a Santa-garbed woman and an orangutan sharing what looks for all the world like a French kiss. A sampling:
Larry Allen, Raleigh: 'I am thoroughly disgusted by the color photo at the top of the front page.'
Ira Vail, Cary: 'This is really over the top. This is in poor taste. You look at it and say, 'gee, I think I'm going to throw my cheerios up.''
Don't discount the coolness of zombies. Boy George is all about the zombies, at least if they are sporting swank eye makeup.
"FORGET ALL those newfangled video games this Christmas. Forget the enemy armies and drooling zombies. Block your ears to the Call of Cthulhu. Go back to the future of a far more profound adventure. Enter the tomb of Thutmose III.
define: - The query [define:] will provide a definition of the words you enter after it, gathered from various online sources. The definition will be for the entire phrase entered (i.e., it will include all the words in the exact order you typed them).
info: - The query [info:] will present some information that Google has about that web page. For instance, [info:www.google.com] will show information about the Google homepage. Note there can be no space between the “info:” and the web page url.
Humans do not understand mirror reflections, say researchers
I'm surprised most people make it past age 30. Lots of dummies out there, tempting Darwin's wrath every day.
"Psychologists at the University of Liverpool have found that people still find it difficult to understand how mirrors work.
Dr Marco Bertamini, from the University's School of Psychology, conducted a number of experiments by covering a mirror on a wall and inviting participants to walk along a line parallel to the mirror.
He asked them to guess the point at which they would be able to see their reflection. Results showed that people believe they can see themselves even before they are level with the near edge of the mirror.
Dr Bertamini said: 'People tend not to understand that the location of the viewer matters in terms of what is visible in a mirror. A good example of this is what we call the Venus Effect, which relates to the many famous paintings of the goddess Venus, looking in a small mirror." (more) Humans do not understand mirror reflections, say researchers
"At this magical time of year, the elves are busy wrapping up the toys and packing them on the sleigh. If you were one of Santa's little helpers, what would your name be?
"The Spirit of Christmas is two animated videos which tell the stories of four foul mouthed American boys and three cultural icons.These are truly some of the most moving pieces of art to ever escape two men's video equipment."MilkandCookies - South Park: Spirit of Christmas
50 Greatest Gadgets of the Past 50 Years - PC World
"We're living in the golden age of the gadget. Don't believe it? Check your pockets. Odds are you're carrying a portable music player, an electronic organizer, a keychain-size storage device, a digital camera, or a cell phone that combines some or all of these functions. And you'd probably be hard-pressed to live without them.
At PC World, we'd be lost without these things. We don't merely test and write about digital gear, we live and breathe the stuff. In honor of this raging gizmo infatuation, we polled our editors and asked them to name the top 50 gadgets of the last 50 years. The rules? The devices had to be relatively small (no cars or big-screen TVs, for example), and we considered only those items whose digital descendants are covered in PC World (cameras, yes; blenders, no). We rated each gadget on its usefulness, design, degree of innovation, and influence on subsequent gadgets, as well as the ineffable quality we called the 'cool factor.' Then we tallied the results." (list at link) PCWorld.com - The 50 Greatest Gadgets of the Past 50 Years
"VnutZ79 writes, "Nearly 4000 years past, ancient Egyptians celebrated the Winter Solstice by rejoicing in the sun god, Ra, for the coming increase in sunlight meant the fertile season approached. Honoring the sun god continued into Roman times with great feasting during Saturnalia, a week of festivities spanning the solstice week. The first recorded Christmas on December 25th took place in the 4th century, a date coinciding with the birthdate of Mithras, the Persian sun god. Pope Julius I is rumored to have adjusted Jesus' birthday to match Mithras' because the church was unable to stop the pagan celebrations and thereby could associate their festivities in Jesus' name." (more) OmniNerd - News: Merry Religious Assimiliation Day
Screen caps of crates and barrels in video games. You can also upload your own screen captures. I wonder what age demographic immediately thought 'Donkey Kong' when they think of this site?
Letterman lawyers: Stop this crazy woman's restraining order against Dave plz
"Late last week, a Santa Fe District Court judge signed a temporary restraining order against talk-show host David Letterman alleging he has tormented a city resident for more than 10 years by using code words on his television program . " (Oh, it gets even crazier, read on...) Letterman lawyers: End Santa Fe claim
Stories Ending With "Long Story Short" That Could Actually Use Some Elaboration. [McSweeney's Internet Tendency]
He does look a might peeved, I wouldn't say 'pissed' though...
"I was at the mall yesterday trying to find a birthday gift for my mom, but she's really tough to shop for. I was thinking she might like some perfume, but I'm not really knowledgeable about that stuff, so I didn't trust myself to get a good kind. So I thought I'd just get a gift certificate for her, but the line was really long at the customer-service desk, and I was in a hurry ... so, long story short, Don Cheadle is waiting for you out in the parking lot, and he looks really pissed." (more stories at link) McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Stories Ending With "Long Story Short" That Could Actually Use Some Elaboration.
The Worst Record Covers of All Time: Pitchfork Feature
Worst album covers? If by 'worst' you mean 'awesome'!
"Urban Outfitters and Restoration Hardware sell black aluminum frames specifically designed for 12' records. The vinyl album now doubles as both pop artifact and usable music format, and in seemingly equal amounts. Flea market bin-flippers search for records that pique their interest both by sleeve and content. Often the sleeve is an end in itself, or can at least prompt an investigative listen. Most of the record covers contained within this list, whether released during or after the vinyl era, are the kind that would stop one's finger-flipping. In this regard the list serves not just as a mockery of bad art, but as a eulogy for the era of The Record."The Worst Record Covers of All Time: Pitchfork Feature
Judge Bars Intelligent Design, Makes Baby Jesus Cry [Wired News]
"HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania -- 'Intelligent design' cannot be mentioned in biology classes in a Pennsylvania public school district, a federal judge said Tuesday, ruling in one of the biggest courtroom clashes on evolution since the 1925 Scopes trial.
Dover Area School Board members violated the Constitution when they ordered that its biology curriculum must include the notion that life on Earth was produced by an unidentified, intelligent cause, U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III said." (more) Wired News: Judge Bars Intelligent Design
"1. catgirl - Girls in their young teens who frequent scifi, gaming, and anime cons. That usualy sport cat ears and spout broken, often incorrect Japanese in an attempt to be more like an anime character.That are prone to loud and ocasionaly violent outbursts in an attempt to get attention.'That girl just threw her underwear at that Kenshin cosplayer.''Damn cat girls'"Urban Dictionary: catgirl
Discover the delights of lovable miniature horses and ponies. Careful, they're addictive! Elyne Mitchell's "The Silver Brumby". Among the best horse stories ... www.anime.net/~kens/ - 6k
For sites containing artwork or information about catgirls. Your site can contain original art, fan art or actual anime art. But it must be about Cat Girls. w.webring.com/hub?ring=catgirl&list
Which anime catgirl are you? - QuizillaWhich anime catgirl are you? What kind of clothes do you wear? My work uniform Cute little dresses A nice cloak My school outfit ... quizilla.com/users/B17/quizzes/Which%20anime%20catgirl%20are%20you%3F/ - 21k -
Man, those cards can add up to some serious bucks.
"'Live Long and Prosper' or 'Space…The Final Frontier.' Ask almost anyone in the world where this quote comes from and you will get the answer 'Star Trek, of course'. No other TV show has created more memorable quotes and phrases that have permeated our culture and language as Star Trek. Now Rittenhouse Archives has gathered more than 200 of the most memorable quotes uttered by Kirk, Spock, McCoy and more and captured them our newset trading card set The Quotable Star Trek: Original Series.Signers include all living bridge crew members: Shatner, Nimoy, Doohan, Takei, Nichols, Koenig and Barrett on an all-new autograph card design. Plus, we have resurrected the classic TOS autograph card design that was introduced in the TOS season collections (1997-1999). New signers for this classic autograph design, which picks up at A86, include Bruce Mars (Finnegan), Julie Newmar (Eleen), Sally Kellerman (Dr. Dehner), Sean Kenney (Capt. Pike), Don Marshall (Lt. Boma) and many others, which will bring the classic autograph collection beyond 100 cards!" (more) Star Trek Quotable
"I had an excellent conversation today with my friend John from New World Border, in which he seared my mind with some hot new insights into religion and culture.
The gist of his argument was that mainstream Christianity arose as sort of the 'Walmart of religion.' Like a virus, the Church replicated itself across the land, co-opting ideas, undercutting 'prices,' gobbling up real-estate, and providing a one-stop shopping source for all your (diluted) religious needs.
The plight of bookstores over the last ten to fifteen years is also a great example. Back when I was a kid, I remember being able to sneak around dusty old used bookstores on Sunday afternoons, and coming away with a mound of dog-eared much-loved books for under ten dollars. Then sometime in the mid-to-late nineties, these bookstores rapidly began vanishing. Why? They couldn't keep up with the enormous Barnes & Noble which moved in down the street."(more) Pop Occulture: Of Gnosticism & Walmart
"BERLIN (Reuters) - Drunken Santas on a rampage in New Zealand, armed German robbers in Santa disguises, a British St. Nick wanted for flashing, and a Swedish vandal in a Santa outfit are giving the big man in red a bad name this year.
Reports of 'Bad Santas' breaking the law or otherwise wreaking havoc have been circulating around the world.
Armed with a gun, a man in a Santa outfit held up a furniture store in the German town of Ludwigshafen Saturday and forced two cashiers to open the safe. He filled his sack with cash, locked the two women in the safe and escaped." (more) Oddly Enough News Article | Reuters.com
I had already been blown away by the other half of the show, showcasing artists from 1950 to now, which is currently at MOCA, and was looking forward to seeing the rest of the show, which focused on comic strips & artists from the first half of the twentieth century. I wasn't prepared for the overwhelming experience that was to come.
There are more at the link at bottom (NSFW). Other links may not be worksafe for eyeballs, either.
"We were surprised to read an article today claiming that the market for erotic podcasts is “underserved”: judging from the wide-ranging selection of programming our assistant editrix Violet Blue rounded up for us (and you), there’s already a lot of people out there aurally fixated on everything from rope bondage and lube wrestling to daily doses of smut and the ever-tasty “lesbian soup”. (Which doesn’t mean that there isn’t plenty of room for more, of course. As we’re so fond of saying here at Fleshbot Central, it’s a big world.)"
The Dawn and Drew Show Conversations between this raunchy Wisconsin farm couple “pulling fingers around the globe” has resulted in a rabid cult following … and a sponsorship by Durex. Podcast RSS | Site
Fetish Flame “A couple’s exploration into the darker side” includes funny interviews with dominatrixes and more. Podcast RSS | Site
Fetish Radio What started out as “morning coffee notes for the kinky-minded” has turned into a veritable sexual smorgasbord from this London podcaster with a fetish bent. Podcast RSS | Site
"PETERBOROUGH, Ont. - A teenager sold more than her mother's video camera for $200.
She didn't know a home video of her mother and her mother's boyfriend engaged in an intimate act was in the camera.
Court heard the mother learned the camera was missing on Nov. 25, 2004, when the boyfriend called and complained the tape was being shown around town. "Teen sells mom's camera (and porn tape) for $200
For adults, maybe they should market a device called a 'Wanger Hangar'.
"Why is it that the act of diaper changing always seems to inspire an extra 'contribution' from the little one? Parents of baby boys have been particularly vulnerable - until now. Just place a pee-pee teepee on his wee-wee during diaper changes, and the hazard is averted. An ideal baby shower gift, the five powder blue 100% cotton pee-pee teepees are decorated with airplanes and arrive in a miniature cotton laundry bag. Made in Canada." (pics at link) UncommonGoods: PEE-PEE TEEPEES
The difference between cult and religion comes down to a popularity contest.
"It is a dangerous world out there. As our Christian nation opens its doors to more foreign trash, God's people are unfortunately exposed to exotic new ideas that might cause some to question their True Christian™ beliefs. In order to assist you in defending the Bible, we believe it is important for you to at least understand in the simplest of terms what in tarnation all these false religions are going on about. As such, we have prepared the quick handy reference guide below. Each cult is linked if you require more resources to help you share Jesus with these deluded, lost souls. " (more) Cults | A Handy Reference Guide
"The Order of the Vampyre is an Order which embraces the concepts of Vampyric Presence as a means to personal power and potential Immortality. Vampyrism is a unique Black Magical condition that in and of its very nature requires a Posture, which enables a natural and effortless exchange of Power from the lesser to the Greater. In normal communication, this power is evidenced by the psychological control exerted over others. Through our Black Magic, this Power is evidenced by accessing what is known as lucid dreaming and increasingly gaining mastery over that state of Becoming which is desirable in its own right." (more) Order of the Vampyre
Apparently, someone was playing around with the telestrator (device that allows its operator to draw a freehand sketch over a motion picture image) and their text got left up for a newscast. Kudos to the cool-headed reporter that played it off without a hitch. :>
Fundy student of mine claims extra female rib, refuses to hear reason - Google Groups : alt.atheism
Don't know if this story is true, but it made me laugh, and that is really all that matters. All I know about ribs are that they sure taste great and Sylvester Stallone punched on them in a meat locker in 'Rocky'.
"--a true story from last week
Student: Women have an extra rib.
Mr. Knievel: No, they have the same number as men.
Student: Huh uh, it says so in the Bible.
Mr. Knievel: The Bible says no such thing.
Student: Uh huh, Eve was made out of one of Adam's ribs.
Mr. Knievel: Well, that is in the book of Genesis, but that's not the same thing as saying that women IN GENERAL have one more rib than men IN GENERAL. We can observe this...it's a fact.
Student: But they do.
Mr. Knievel: No, we can count the ribs of men and women and see that they are the same--understand?
Student: Scientists don't know nothing.
Mr. Knievel: They can COUNT TO TWELVE, CAN'T THEY!?!?!?!?
Student: Maybe the rib is invisible.
Mr. Knievel: Sit down and don't talk to me for the rest of the day."
Store Manager Makes Life Miserable for Would-Be Robber: "Bring it on." (vid/story)
Chuck Norris nods head in approval, calls for a flurry of roundhouse kicks to celebrate Dirty Harry Day.
"On November 21 at about 10:30 in the evening, Edward Petrossi was working alone at the Quik Stop store on La Loma Avenue. A man came in, picked up some beer and waited by the counter while the other customers left. The man then pulled a knife on Petrossi.
Unbeknownst to the robber, Petrossi is an expert in martial arts. He assumed a 'ready' stance, then grabbed a pair of scissors and box cutter from under the counter and told the man to 'bring it on.' Petrossi said the man dropped the beer and fled." (more) Store Manager Makes Life Miserable for Would-Be Robber
"According to Gallup, 44% of Americans believe that within their lifetimes Jesus Christ will literally descend from the sky and take his followers with him up to heaven.
In this clip from The God Who Wasn't There, Rapture believer Scott Butcher talks about his End Times convictions, and author Sam Harris (The End of Faith) discusses what such widely held apocalyptic beliefs may do to our future.
DNA mutation accounts for white skin, pocket protector, bad dancing (Boing Boing)
"The work suggests that the skin-whitening mutation occurred by chance in a single individual after the first human exodus from Africa, when all people were brown-skinned. That person's offspring apparently thrived as humans moved northward into what is now Europe, helping to give rise to the lightest of the world's races.
Leaders of the study, at Penn State University, warned against interpreting the finding as a discovery of 'the race gene.' Race is a vaguely defined biological, social and political concept, they noted, and skin color is only part of what race is -- and is not.
In fact, several scientists said, the new work shows just how small a biological difference is reflected by skin color. The newly found mutation involves a change of just one letter of DNA code out of the 3.1 billion letters in the human genome -- the complete instructions for making a human being.
'It's a major finding in a very sensitive area,' said Stephen Oppenheimer, an expert in anthropological genetics at Oxford University, who was not involved in the work. 'Almost all the differences used to differentiate populations from around the world really are skin deep.'" Boing Boing: DNA mutation accounts for white skin
Bush Lets U.S. Spy on Callers Without Courts - New York Times
But is it an impeachable offense?
"WASHINGTON, Dec. 15 - Months after the Sept. 11 attacks, President Bush secretly authorized the National Security Agency to eavesdrop on Americans and others inside the United States to search for evidence of terrorist activity without the court-approved warrants ordinarily required for domestic spying, according to government officials." (more) Bush Lets U.S. Spy on Callers Without Courts - New York Times
MAN DATES GAL ON INTERNET FOR SIX MONTHS -- AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S HIS MOTHER!
Hahahaa! "Do u cyb3r?" Hellooooooo Oedipus! How embarrasing.
"MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!
'I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams,' the rattled bachelor later admitted. 'And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.
whatisvictoriassecret.com is a comment on Victoria's Secret's (AS WELL AS OTHER CONSUMER MEDIA'S) role in perpetuating a body ideal that is unrealistic for most women. The clip shows a woman in lingerie posing as a Victoria's Secret model and puking in a toilet, presumably in an attempt to achieve Victoria's ideal body. Is it a provocative art statement? A cheap shot? What do you think? And are Victoria's Secret ads harmful to girls' body image? What effect do they have on you?" (more) clips about clips: joke ads based on those used by victoria secrets?
"December 25 (2001) -- Astronaut Cathy Clarke opened her eyes and yawned. Mission Control was playing Jingle Bells over the intercom for about the two hundredth time. 'OK,' she barked into the microphone. 'I'm awake and I know it's Christmas!'
Cathy, one of the crew of the International Space Station (ISS), was feeling homesick.
Back on Earth, she knew, her family was gathered around the Christmas tree, sipping eggnog and opening presents. Later they would radio from Houston, but she yearned to be with them now -- not stuck in an orbiting laboratory, 350 km above Earth, with no Christmas spirit." (more) Space Station Christmas
Angelina Jolie still likes clam and I don't mean the chowder
Chowder? I hardly even KNOW her! (ba dum bump)
"Angelina Jolie’s lesbian lover has given this warning to the star’s boyfriend Brad Pitt: “There has never been an ending to her and I. I think there never will be.”
Supermodel Jenny Shimizu adds: “I think we will continue to have a deep relationship. It really does go beyond just the sex.”
Jenny has spoken for the first time about her steamy ten-year relationship with bisexual Angelina and her belief that Brad’s relationship may be short-lived.
Tattooed Jenny says: “She’s always had lovers that she relies on. If she can ring you and you can meet up then she can take care of her sexual needs." (more) The Superficial | Angelina still likes clam
Ha ha ha, very funny, in a South Park knock-off kind of way. At the end of the clip, mouse over the Madblast.com logo in the left corner if you want to hear a lil Semper Fi action!
Chimps are also really strong. Just dress them up in a blue body suit with a red cape, and there ya go. World problems solved.
caffeinemessiah writes "The New York Times has a story on how chimpanzees seem to exhibit a better understanding of cause and effect than human children. While training chimps to perform a routine task with redundant steps, the chimps were able to figure out and eliminate the redundant steps, while the human children routinely performed them despite their evident uselessness. It says something about the way we learn compared to chimps and should be interesting to cognitive scientists and those interested in computational learning theory, at the least."
The gentler alternative to laxatives, enemas and anti-flatuence pills.
ButtCandles™ are an exciting, and time honored, device for internal cleansing. We encourage you to peruse our site, read the referenced medical literature, and then make an informed decision as to whether you want to purchase our high-quality sanitary products. We stand behind all of our products and offer a 100% money back guarantee for all unused/unspoilt product.
Please read the FAQ and Procedure page of this website to learn everything about this product.
We've made a conscious decision to not include any drawings or photographs of actual ButtCandle ™ usage on this site. Our fear is that a few bad apple pranksters would make a mockery out of those images. With every order, we include a free 18 minute VHS video as well as printed instructions.
Instructions
Thoroughly shower or bathe; it's best to leave the backside somewhat damp.
Squat, or lie on your back, to insert the ButtCandle ™ to a depth of no more than 3 inches. If you encounter resistance, do not shove ... rather, gently twist while applying firm and steady pressure.
Upon completion of insertion, lie on your back and pull knees to your chest.
Strike the 10" wooden match that is provided. The lighting process, due to anatomical differences, is easier for women than for men. Men need to reach around their thigh to light the wick; whereas women will find it easier to reach directly between the legs. At no time should you permit the lit match to come in contact with your bodily parts.
As the candle burns, a vacuum will be created within the rectum and thereby draw out the stubborn fecal material. A gurgling sound and sensation is not uncommon or cause to worry. The candle will snuff itself after approximately 5 minutes.
If, at any time during the process, the need to void becomes urgent simply go to the toilet as normal; the candle will instanteously go out when it becomes vertically oriented and, furthermore, the candle is 100% soluble and septic-safe so there's no need to dispose of it in any other fashion.
The used ButtCandle ™ should not be handled by anyone and kept out of reach of small children and household animals.
Many people find it relaxing to take a warm shower upon completion.
Mp3 Monday: Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Hands down this Death Cab For Cutie (website) song is one of the best lyrical songs I've heard in a long time.
link for mp3 for ['I Will Follow You Into The Dark' 3.2M mp3] (via webjay.org) Acts of Volition has a great mix of current technology issues and music. I initally googled for the Death Cab For Cutie Song 'I Will Follow You Into The Dark', which is how I found Acts of Volition: mp3 i will follow you into the dark
-- Acts of Volition is the weblog of Steven Garrity, undiscovered rock-star and creative director at silverorange»
Hookah Craze Hits Eastern Iowa, Much Funnier If You Thought I Said 'Hooker'
"Who... are YOU?"
"A smoking new trend from the Middle-East is filtering its way into eastern Iowa. University of Iowa student Robin Loewe is tired of doing the same old things.
Loewe says, 'There's not that much to do besides going to the bar or sit in your room and watch a movie or something.'
That is why she decided to try out one of the newest trends among 18 to 24 year-olds, smoking hookah. Also known as a water pipe or hubble-bubble, a hookah is a device used for smoking tobacco through a water filter." (more)
Paramount to buy DreamWorks ($1.6 billion is a lot of money)
Not my typical post to Snarkyspot, but since I'm an animator in the film industry, it's interesting to me. Paramount also owns Nickelodeon, so this purchase will bring distribution of Dreamwork Animation's CG films (Shrek, Madagascar, Wallace & Gromit) into it's pipeline.
"LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Paramount Pictures on Sunday agreed to buy DreamWorks SKG in a $1.6 billion cash-and-debt deal that gives the Viacom Inc.-owned studio a much needed boost and ends the efforts of Steven Spielberg and two other moguls to build an independent movie and television empire." ... Paramount further won exclusive rights to populate its own TV shows with future DreamWorks Animation characters, and it will pay $75 million in cash to DreamWorks Animation, which DreamWorks Animation said it plans to use to repay debt. (more at link) Reuters Business Channel | Reuters.com
Ann Coulter to hecklers: You're stupider than I am - Dec 8, 2005 [CNN]
"I know you are, but what am I?"
Apparently as well as a conservative columnist, it's rumored that she enjoys dabbling in the rough buttsex (this link NSFW for language, but viciously funny)
"STORRS, Connecticut (AP) -- Conservative columnist Ann Coulter cut short a speech at the University of Connecticut amid boos and jeers, and decided to hold a question-and-answer session instead.
Man, I'm guilty of the overquoting.
Do chickens have large talons?
"3. 'Sideways' -- You're not drinking any Merlot. We've got it. Shut the fuck up and go back to drinking whatever 2 Buck Chuck you were swilling down before this movie made you the world's eminent authority on enjoying wine. Furthermore, talking about wine at all is completely inane and pointless, a topic of conversation reserved only for the most insecure, pretentious assholes on the planet. Who gives a fuck if you can taste a 'flutter of' oak or nutmeg or fucking Jolly Ranchers. I don't give a shit. There should only be two acceptable words for describing wine: 'Good' and 'Bad'. That's it, there's no need to give us a wordy description of the flavors, aromas and childhood memories the wine 'evokes' for you. It's just booze - drink enough of it to dull that nagging feeling that you're an annoying douche, and shut up already." (the other 4 at link) blagg blogg: 5 Movies I Wish People Would Stop Quoting
"Mixing vector and photo is one of the hottest trends in the illustration industry today. We’ve seen this effect used in national ad campaigns from Anheuser-Busch to Hawaiian Tropic. In this tutorial, we’ll take a look at how to create this effect in Illustrator. Before you begin, keep in mind that you can download the Illustrator source file used in this column. It comes complete with the original photograph (kindly provided by www.istockphoto.com). Have fun! " (tutorial at link) Layers Magazine | When Vector Meets Photo
"AMANDA CONGDON is a big star on really small screens - like the 4�- inch window she appears in on computer monitors every weekday morning or the 2� inches she has to work with on the new video iPod. Ms. Congdon, you see, is the anchor of a daily, three-minute, mock TV news report shot on a camcorder, edited on a laptop and posted on a blog called Rocketboom, which now reaches more than 100,000 fans a day." (more) TV Stardom on $20 a Day - New York Times
