Food Critic Tears Radish Canapés With Salmon Mousse A New Asshole (The Onion)

"MANCHESTER, NH—An appetizer of radish canap�s with salmon mousse served at local French restaurant La Maison de Vin was torn a new asshole this week, according to Concord Monitor food critic Bernard Haberle, who reviewed the establishment in his 'Good Eating' column.

'I ripped those canapes a hole so wide they'll be shitting blood for days,' said Haberle, who singled out the dish in his review, calling it 'a misguided fusion of land and sea.'

'The mousse alone got a reaming that will have it crying for its mama,' he added.

The hors d'oeuvres, presented on a bed of arugula topped with a salmon mousse of blended shallots, green onions, and white wine, were 'force-fed their own balls' by Haberle, who in his column described the menu item as 'a modest offering that should have aspired for more.'" (Read the full, increasing foul and funny review here.)