by DanThis is a question that comes to us at Burritophile from time to time. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy and girl get together, they have months and months of bliss, he buys a big diamond, they get engaged, they plan a wedding. In the planning stages of the wedding, they figure out the tux, they figure out the flowers, they start working on the catering.
He: "So, who should we have food from?"
She: "I was thinking about..."
He: "That crepe place?"
She (shocked): "Um...I was thinking about burritos. Think about it -- they could bring in heaping plates of carne asada, piles of salsa, guacamole. Everyone could make their own burritos! It'd be cheap, incredibly tasty, fun, and everyone would remember it!"
He (long pause). "Um...I don't really like burritos. Or any Mexican food, for that matter."
What To DoThe first rule is, don't immediately cancel the wedding. Although that's obviously going to be your first instinct, try to fight it. There are many possible sources for your loved one's burritophobia, and it may not be the personality flaw that it appears to be on the surface. Try to get to the root of the problem. Ask questions and remember to use lots of "I" statements. Here are some examples to get you started.
"I wonder if you've never had a good burrito. What kind of burritos have you had?"
"I think that your response means that you may have eaten lots of Taco Bell. Why didn't you tell me about this problem, so we could work on it together?
"I feel bad when you talk about burritos in that way. Why do you insist on hurting me?"
"I think that anyone who doesn't like burritos is an idiot. Why did you lie to me about having a college degree?"
"I am wondering why I am sitting here, given that you do not like to eat burritos. Can you give me four good reasons?"
"I am thinking that you are perhaps not the person I'd like to spend my life with. The only way we can change this is by going to get a burrito right now. Where would you like to go?"