Tom Cruise Weirdo Alert: The Whatevia Show Interview

: Bitch, please, I know you are not jumpin' on mah leather couch -- you best git yo' lunatic ass down before I cut you...

: Oh, I was just professing my love for Katie. Its sad that the media misunderstands me. They even play stupid pranks like squirting water to irritate me.

: Bitch, DON'T LIE ! Everyone knows you be gay and totally enjoyed the squirt. I ain't impressed with this uterus-for-hire that you be getting with Katie. How much you be paying her for this hetero act ?

: I uh ... umm... I uhh... can we talk about Scientology ?

: Don't you be talking about your crack-pot theories on MAH' show. That cult is da' shit and you know it.

: You know what ? You're a jerk. You're a jerk. Jerk.

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