Time Machine Voyage Experience Difficulties, Paris Hilton Dead

1642 AD – The mind-boggling phenomenon that is time travel, once thought to be impossible, has now been conquered by a team of Danish scientist. Their success though has been tempered by loss. Paris Hilton, an unlikely candidate to be the first woman to venture into the experimental world of time travel, has died.

The sequence of events surrounding Hilton’s demise have not completely been pieced together. All indications are that she survived the trip, only to be done in by the surroundings.

Interest in time travel peaked earlier in the year when a group of scientist from The University of Copenhagen announced that they were able to send physical matter through a worm hole. The details are complicated, but upon hearing of the achievement the Fox Network immediately purchased the rights to the technology for use in the upcoming season of the reality show "The Simple Life".

One Fox studio executive was available for comment on the show’s new time-travel concept. "Well, we figured that we’d sent the girls (Hilton and Nicole "I really like doing coke off of Lohan’s ass" Ritchie) to Arkansas, why not medieval Europe? We figured the worst that could have happened was that Paris might spread her VD on an unsuspecting collection of serfs and fiefdom lords. We didn’t see this coming at all."

It turns out that "this" happens to entail being burned as a witch.

While there is no footage of the altercation that followed, or the short trial that resulted in the celebutaunts being burned as witches. Those that made it back could only describe the final moments with one final ironic "hot".
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