The Onion | Election Day Guide

Tuesday is Election Day. Here are some pointers to keep in mind when heading to the polls:"

# If at all possible, vote before work. That way, you can make smug comments to non-voters all day long.
# The new electronic voting machines are complicated. But don't worry: Octogenarians will be on hand to troubleshoot any technological problems that might arise.
# If your election official hooks you up to a machine via a needle in your arm, you are actually donating blood.

For the rest of the list, head to the link below.