24 sided dice invented: Social Retards Rejoice

By Brian Farrelly and Jay Barba

GENEVA— The word spread like wildfire on role-playing websites Friday following the stunning news the Fantasy Gaming Institute had at long last engineered the heretofore unattainable 24-sided die.

According to Eric Wallen, a 34-year old Radio Shack employee who's also an 18th level Mystical Elf known as Bilbo Bezzlebug with a +100 immunity to magic spells, the new invention is the greatest contribution to Dungeons and Dragons since the invention of Fiddle Faddle.

"People used to say I was wasting my life with this role-playing stuff," Wallen said. "I can't believe how close I was to giving up my regular, Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday D & D game. But now these new dice have totally changed everything."

Researchers at the Gaming Institute spent several years working on the groundbreaking dice, while many in scientific community doubted whether a die consisting of more than 20 sides was physically possible. Most famous among these doubters was Stephen Hawking, who once wrote a paper claiming "a polyhedral die with over 20 sides would supply results so varied and unpredictable, pursuing this course of action would be reckless. Perhaps even foolhardy!"

Foolhardiness aside, the researchers bravely pressed on and within a decade produced the world's first 24-sided die by smelting plutonium together with a beat-up old golf ball.
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I mean it is not like they are playing Carcassonne.