What Would Conan Do?

"Situation One: You’re driving on the freeway and someone cuts you off.
A Schmuck ignores the incident, doesn’t even blow his horn, and then goes home and cries
himself to sleep on his futon in the efficiency apartment he rents from a hobo.
Conan the Barbarian pursues the offending motorist to the ends of the Earth and then hacks
him to death with a broadsword.

Situation Two: You find out someone at the office has been saying nasty things about you
behind your back.
A Schmuck spits in that person’s coffee mug, then feels bad, washes it out, and realizes the
nasty things being said are probably true.
Conan the Barbarian throws the jerk into a pit with a giant snake, laughs while the snake
devours him, and then hacks the snake into tiny pieces for good measure." (more at the link)

---

"It's not ah tuuumaaahhh!" - Detective John Kimball
--