National Terror Alert: Cher to show her silicon genitalia on 60th birthday!

(click pic for larger scary)

At 60 years old, I don't care how much plastic surgery you've had, the only thing getting coated with Vaseline is the photographer's lens, lest the hideousness consume us all.

(NOTE: In case you are at a loss about who the heck Cher is, she's the tall circus clown on the left in the above picture.)