Top Ten Messages Left On Michael Jackson's Answering Machine

10. "It's Tito--congratulations. Could I borrow 50 bucks?"
9. "Barbara Walters here. I'll double any interview offer and throw in a giraffe"
8. "This is the courthouse lost and found. Can you describe the nose in question?"
7. "This is your bank--curious about the 12 checks you wrote for 'jury bribes'"
6. "This is your neighbor. Could you please send someone to get your chimp out of my pool?"
5. "Happy Father's Day from the lab where we artifically inseminated your sham wife"
4. "Change your outgoing message, dude--'Thriller' was like 20 years ago"
3. It's Martha. Disregard the letter with cell-decorating tips"
2. "Tom Cruise here. I'm calling every person in America to tell them I'm in love with Katie Holmes"

...and # 1....

1. "Hi, it's Saddam Hussein. Now how do I get one of them idiot juries?"
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