Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Tom Cruise’s evil influence

Tom Cruise has brainwashed Katie Holmes into becoming a scientologist and that his is a good actor. A movement has sprung up that is endeavoring to free Katie from his evil influence and return her to the real world where we do not worship aliens and Tom Cruz is merely a mediocre actor at best.

Visit FreeKatie.net and the Defamer.com to catch up on everything related to this breaking story. They are selling FreeKatie gear and have forums.

Here is some very important information from the forums:

FACTS ABOUT TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES

Hello, I am the smartest person on these boards, an no, I'm not Asian. I am a prominant children's author and model and because I am so good looking I get invited to a lot of awesome parties. I've slept with Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and David Arquette, to name a few celebrities I know intimately. Many of you bash Tom (short for Thomas) and Katie (short for Katherine) because they are beautiful and because you are jealous of their beauty because you are probably disfigured, handicapped, and/or ugly.

FACTS:
1. Tom and Katie practice Jedi. It is a terrific practice that is similar to Kabala except all prayers are pre-fixed with the word 'ACHUTA' which is something the slutty dancers in Jabba's palace say before they have lesbian sex with the Rancor.
2. Katie has an enormously hairy bush. The hairline on her vagina goes well past her knee caps. She has to wear two pairs of underwear to keep it contained.
3. Tom Cruise is and anagram for Stedman. From this we can infer that he is sleeping with Oprah.
4. Katie Holmes is not a virgin. She has slept with the Miami Heat on a number of occasions. Please post your FACTS ABOUT TOME CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES so that I can refute them.


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